Soulmate

Chapter 35: Fear Of The Unknown

Grace

    I stumbled my way to our group, holding back confused tears as my head spun and my stomach clenched. Where else could he be if he wasn't here with me? Should I look for him? Or should I trust my timer again? I tried to hold my head high because everyone was watching me walk alone; they all probably knew that I was supposed to meet my soulmate. Suddenly, I thought about turning around and running home. Why was I facing the situation head on? Why wasn't I running away and avoiding telling all these people that I had been stood up? This has never happened in the history of the timers, so why did it happen to me? More importantly why was I letting everyone else know? I could just go home and say my soulmate and I were hanging out, but then not let anyone meet him until I actually do meet him. If I ever do that is.

    Becca broke away from the group and luckily stopped me on my quest for self destruction. Maybe I wanted the sympathy of my peers or maybe I just wanted guidance through this. Maybe I wanted to avoid telling my parents. It was hard to say my reasoning for anything that day. "Where's your soulmate? And where's Chase?" she instantly asked, searching my broken face for the answers.

    Her words sparked an uncontrollable fire inside me, and I was too upset to hold anything back. "Well, everyone was wrong! He's not my soulmate like I've been saying this whole fucking time! Okay?! Can we just drop it?!" I yelled, loud enough for everyone else to hear me. I pushed through the crowd to throw my clothes on and grab my backpack.

    She followed and tried to talk to me, but my ears felt like they were full of liquid, making me dizzy and unable to hear. I spun away from her and saw Chase and his soulmate come strolling down the beach, hand in hand.

    Jealousy, blind white hot fury, and a crumpling sensation filled my heart. This was wrong. I didn't want Chase, but I really didn't want to be alone, watching him be happy. What had I done wrong? Why did he get everything he wanted while I had nothing? Was it because I was so stubborn about us not being soulmates? Did the universe want to punish me for being a brat?

    "Everyone, this is my soulmate, Alannah," Chase introduced as he stared at her radiating beauty. Her pale cheeks turned pink as she smiled and waved to us. Why did she have to be so gorgeous?

    Instantly, people went over to talk to them, even Tyson, and I could tell Becca wanted to do the same. She needed to pick which best friend she was going to support. She looked at me, then to her soulmate, and finally she walked over to me. "What is going on? Grace, just tell me what happened," she begged, staring at me with her big brown eyes.

   I took in a shaky breath and wrapped my arms protectively around myself as if that would make all my pain vanish. "Chase and I went to talk. No one else was around and he saw her over my shoulder. He ran to her and I guess they're soulmates. My timer reset," I explained, feeling the tears gather in my eyes as I held my arm out to her, so she would see the new time. I tried my hardest to blink back the scorching tears, but I knew it was only a matter of seconds before I started to cry.

    She could see it in my face, my anger, jealousy, and sadness. "Okay, Gracie, maybe you should go home and I'll-"

    "Stop! Just stop!" I interrupted, feeling myself spiraling off the deep end. Everything inside of me was finally snapping after I'd tried so desperately to keep it together all these years. "I don't want your pity!" I don't know what made me do it, why I decided to yell at Becca, but I did it anyways. Then, before I could see how much I had hurt her, I stomped away. I wanted to run, but I didn't want to cause more of a scene, so I waited until I got to the sidewalk, and then I started running. I ran more in the past two days than I have my whole life and I hated it.