4 Guys Stole My Flat

Tequila, tequila~

"Ari, are you drunk?" Callum looks at me, very concerned, as I raise my hand up in the air, showing the world an empty can of Monster energy drink. Why I have an empty can of Monster energy drink remains a mystery to me.

I shake my head, almost throwing myself off balance and barely catching myself on the kitchen counter. "Nope!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Fourteen."

"What- no. No, you're a biology student, you should know humans only have ten fingers."

"Actually, Shakespeare, two fingers and eight thumbs."

He sighs, "there are so many things wrong with that sentence."

I huff in my drunken state and jump up onto the counter. Well, jump is an exaggeration - I flail my hands about to find something to grab onto and then heave myself onto the surface. I lay on my side, facing Callum.

"Shut up and let me sleep," I mutter under my breath as I close my eyes.

"Ari, get off the kitchen counter."

"You must be drunk - I'm lying on Brendon Urie..." I slur.

Callum looks taken aback, "first off, that's ironic coming from you. And second, why would you be lying on Brendon Urie in the first place."

"Because he's got a nice voice..."

"What?"

"What?"

Callum gives up on me and tries to make five sandwiches around my napping body. On the other side of the room, the other three boys had been observing the scene from a distance with crossed arms, frankly too scared to talk to me directly.

Tayum turns his head from looking at Callum and I to facing a very confused Archie. "Why the actual fuck would you give them alcohol?"

Liam smacks him on the arm, "Don't swear! Ari will be angry!"

He just chuckles and points to me, "not in that state."

The three boys look back towards me, but don't move any closer to the kitchen.

"But, no, Tayum's right," Liam breaks in, "Why would you give them alcohol?"

Archie shrugs, no trace of guilt on his face whatsoever, "Well, when I ran off with that pizza box the first day we met, they drank my whole beer without even pausing to breathe. They didn't even get drunk! I thought they would be able to handle a shot of tequila."

"'A shot' my ass!" Tayum screeches like an unholy beaver, "you gave them four fucking shots!"

Archie shrugs again, clearly not understanding how bad the situation really is right now. Tayum huffs and walks over to my unconscious corpse.

"Ari?" He pokes my face repeatedly until I open my eyes - I wasn't sleeping, I was just done with my own shit. I pout at him and close them again, hoping he'll take his ass and leave, yet he doesn't and just goes back to poking and provoking me.

"What do you want?"

He shuffles at me harsh tone, yet I feel no remorse because fuck him for waking me up. "Well, could you stop being drunk?"

Archie chuckles from the sofa, "Doesn't really work like that, mate."

Tayum turns around to look at him, giving him a what-the-fuck-did-you-just-say-because-last-time-i-checked-you-were-not-the-one-trying-to-look-after-a-drunken-kid-because-their-asshole-of-a-roommate-gave-then-four-shots-of-tequila-which-has-now-caused-them-to-fall-asleep-on-a-kitchen-counter-while-their-other-roommate-tries-to-make-a-sandwich-around-them kinda face, which really tells you all you need to know about how Tayum was feeling in this situation.