What Lurks in His Eyes

Chapter 35: Despair

Song: Far From Home by Sam Tinnesz

*

*

I scream.

Driven to insanity by the loss of my mate, I throw myself against the cold, concrete walls of my cell.

Over and over.

My head spins and my screams rip through the darkness as blood runs down my temples and my fractured bones scream in protest. My throat is raw and sore, but no amount of physical pain can compare to the mental pain blazing through my chest like a forest fire.

When I can no longer stand, I collapse. Each breath I take is heavy, labored, and painful. Dust fills my lungs with each intake. Standing on wobbly legs, I repeat the process.

Shock waves travel up my arm as I slam my fists into the wall. My body shakes and shivers violently with every movement, and I can feel the bones crunching beneath my skin.

The skin on my hands split in painful cracks, and blood seeps from the wounds, running down my cold arms before dripping onto the hard ground below.

Each impact against my body induces a wave of dizziness. Every strike of my fist brings me closer to the brink of unconsciousness. Exhaustion. Panic. Agony. Fear. I feel all those things, but perhaps what scares me the most is hopelessness.

Before I had found Draven, the thought of a mate gave me hope. Because maybe, I had thought, I had something to live for.

But being stuck in the same situation with my mate ripped from me, I'm hopeless. I'm heartbroken. 

There is nothing left of me.

The grief is unbearable, it swallows me whole and keeps me caged in its dark clutches.

He can't be gone. He can't be gone. He can't be gone.

Burying my foot into the concrete wall with all my might sprains my ankle. I scream in agony and fall for this last time. I land hard on my knees, and try desperately to get back up.

But this time, I cannot.

I am far too injured and lightheaded that I can no longer stand. Falling onto my side, I curl into fetal position, and hug my knees. I whimper as my fractured bones shift beneath my skin painfully.

My head spins.

My stomach hurts, I am nauseous.

I cough up the contents of my stomach and groan in pain as the fiery acid burns my throat and mouth.

Everything around me is dim. The ground is cold like ice, and only adds to the agony of my broken bones. I feel stiff. Weak. Afflicted.

Even my tears are cold as they drip down my cheeks and down my neck. My eyes are heavy and exhausted, but I do not close them.

He's not gone. He's not gone. He's not gone. "T-this isn't real. I-I....n-no"

And then the air is sucked out of my lungs.

Choked whimpers escape my lips, and my breathing is ragged. I attempt to grip the ground out of desperation, but I snap my fingernails in the process. They bleed. I can feel the little pools of blood they create.

My eyes roll into the back of my head, and I scream. "D-Draven why did y-you leave me!" Why, why, why?

The mate bond then starts to flicker and fade away. It won't vanish completely, but soon it will deteriorate to nothing more than a whisper that will serve as a reminder for what once was, but is no more.