Best + Bitter = Better

After

Geoff reaches his dorm door, fully ready to apologise. He pushes open the thin wood to an empty room. Awsten isn't there. He should have expected it, if he were Awsten then he'd do the same thing. Sighing, he drags himself to bed. A sort of sadness fills him; only sort of because it's like death by paper cuts. Sadness and pain swirl together in an unforgiving wave of numbness. So Geoff lies in his bed, fully clothed and numb. His, now, gloomy, blue eyes fill with melancholy. Glancing over to Awsten's empty bed, his lip quivers.

-

He's woken up by the sound of somebody shuffling around his room. Opening his eyes revealed the stunning purple-haired boy, he had a weekend bag on his bed and is filling it. Geoff sits up immediately, dizzy from going through the motions too fast.

"Aws," Geoff smiles. "You're back." He continues in his foolishness. His voice is arid and rough from sleep. Awsten looks back at him with a hateful glare. Geoff bites his tongue and plays with his fingers in his lap.

Awsten doesn't look at Geoff - just keeps packing - as he explains, "I talked to my counsellor and am going to switch dorm rooms. But for now, I'm sleeping in Mark's room." With every word, Geoff's heart breaks.

Geoff stands up and instinctively lingers in front of the door, so that Awsten can't leave. "No, Aws, I don't think you should go." Geoff insisted.

He went to touch Awsten's arm but was shoved away. "I thought homophobes didn't like touching gays." Awsten retorted.

"No, Aws—" Geoff started.

"No, don't call me that." Awsten snapped roughly. Geoff stepped back as if Awsten was a rabid dog.

"Sorry, " Geoff lost his train of thought for a second. "I really don't think you should go." He was desperately trying to recall what he was about to say; he knew it was important.

At this point, Awsten had packed all of his essentials and was ready to leave. He tries to push past Geoff, but he was smaller than him and can't muster the strength to push him out of the way. He tries again but to no avail. Geoff isn't quite sure why he's blocking the way out; he's still trying to claw back the memory of what he was about to say.

"Fine. Tell me why you, Geoff Wigington, think that I shouldn't go stay with my boyfriend." Awsten demanded. Awsten was fuming by this point; he felt so betrayed and broken, so he concealed it with anger.

"I just gotta bad feeling about that guy." He mutters. Geoff feels intimidated by the smaller man, so he has lost all bravery.

"I've known him for a year, Geoff, I think I know him a little better than you do." Awsten rages, getting up into Geoff's face. Geoff's shoulders fall and so does his guard, letting Awsten pass him easily.

Geoff longs after him, watching him angrily march away. Only then does Geoff remember what he was going to say, "I'm not a homophobe." Geoff mutters to himself. Why couldn't he remember that? It was simple and so crucial at that moment. He's such an idiot.

He lay up all night thinking about 'what if he did run after Awsten at the cafe?' and it made his heart ache. Maybe they would have been able to work things out. Maybe he could have convinced Awsten not to date Mark. One thing for sure is that he didn't. He didn't make things better and he didn't work things out