Start Over

Chapter 3

Over the weekend...

He sat on his couch, slouching and feeling like shit. He hadn't gotten off the couch all day long. Not only was he failing History class, but he was also failing at getting Al back. The more she hated him, the worse he started to feel. All he could imagine was her making a voodoo doll and pocking at his heart. That would explain why his chest hurt so much.

The quieter it got in his house, the louder his thoughts became. It felt like it was slowly killing him to be farther away from her. It had been 3 months and his thoughts still remained on her. All he ever thought about was her and ways he could get her back. But he didn't want to cause her more pain by forcing himself into her life. In his mind, his life was crashing down without her. He felt as if he had nothing else to live for. He betrayed the one person he promised to never hurt. He was a horrible person.

"Leo, where have you been all day?" he turned his head to see Nate and Benji entering his house. He turned his head back around and continue to let his thoughts run wild, ignoring Benji's questions. "You haven't been to school for days now. Are you trying to get suspended?"

Benji and Nate were starting to get worried for their friend since the three haven't really been as close in a while. They knew it was because of the Alexandra thing. They knew that their friend was hurting deeply because of his actions. All Benji wanted to do was help both of his friends through the pain; the only problem being one was ignoring everyone and the other was drowning himself with his thoughts. It was all too difficult.

"Look, man, I don't want to talk to anyone right now." Leo had said, not facing them but his TV screen that had nothing displayed onto it. He was really beating himself about it after months and it was getting harder and harder to watch every day. "I just want to be alone."

Benji sat next to him, looking at him with caution in his eyes. He has never seen his best friend get this involved with a girl before. He has never seen him so destroyed since they were in second grade when Leonardo had broken his favorite toy car. He had no idea what to do. Benji felt his heart sink a little for his friend because he knew how crazy Leonardo was for Alexandra.

Before they were together, he remembers how hard Leonardo tried to get her. He bent over backwards to get her to be his girlfriend and even after, making sure that he made her happy. He figured that the night of the incident something in his friend broke after. The part of him that made himself at ease and happy broke because he knew he had lost Alexandra for good. He had lost the one thing that made him feel whole and loved. He had lost his everything. And that would be the biggest mistake in his life.

"I know your hurting, man. I've known you for most of my life and I've never seen you get like this before," Benji tried to get Leo to look at him, but it just wasn't working. "I want to help you, I really do. But I can't do it when you are ignoring me."

Leonardo looked at him, his eyes red and puffy from crying earlier. He didn't want his help. He didn't need him to try and make things better. He deserved to be in pain after what he did. He wanted to let himself drown in his thoughts. He deserved it. All the tears and thoughts and tissue boxes were nothing compared to what he had put Alexandra through and he knew it. Alexandra was in so much pain for those three months, and still to this day because the love they had she thought would last forever didn't.

To most, the fact that Leo felt all this pain might be a shocker. To most, this mopping and sobbing might seem stupid. But it was understandable considering how beautiful and pure their relationship was before he fucked it all up. Before he went completely bonkers and lied continuously.

"I appreciate what you are doing, Benji, but you don't have to. I'm fine."

"Really? This is what you call fine?" Leo sighed loudly, realizing Benji wasn't giving up so easily.