Why I Lost Her

Chapter 5

Their conversation lasted longer than Maggie had anticipated. In less than an hour, she'd found herself overwhelmed with new feelings toward this woman. All this time, she'd thought Lacey was simply crazy. She'd never known exactly what'd happened to the poor soul.

Sometimes, Maggie pondered, people go through things that are simply too much for them. Everyone is dealt a different hand of cards in life, but no one is immune to tragedy. Whether they have the ability to move past it or not, depends on their past experiences. She wondered what Lacey had lived through that had made her so afraid of losing her loved ones.

Suddenly, Lacey broke the silence.

"I get so lonely, sometimes I feel like he's still here with me."

Maggie looked to the side, unsettled. "Who do you mean?"

"I mean Devon, of course." Lacey paused, looking up at the woman in front of her and weighing her reaction. "I know it's crazy. But, it's like I can see him. I even... speak with him sometimes." she admitted, ashamed.

The nana remained silent. How could she tell her he was still alive? Should she have? Would it matter? Most likely, she was in a temporary state of dementia and her mind would clear up in a few hours.

"You know what would make it better, Maggie? What would make me so happy?" asked Lacey, tearing up as she clenched the blankets with her calloused hands.

"What's that, Mrs. Riley?"

"I'd just like to hold baby Luke in my arms again. I miss him so much."

The tears now fell freely.

"I'm sorry, Lacey, I've been given clear instructions from Mr. Riley to keep you two apart. I know it's difficult, but just think of the alternative," she said softly, trying not to upset the mentally unstable woman.

There were many incriminating items in the house that could have Lacey thrown in a mental institution. Violent drawings, notes, videos from her security monitor. Devon had been hiding them, but he hadn't burned them in case he needed them one day. Just in case.

But as soon as Maggie pronounced those words, she immediately regretted them. She too had a child. Her daughter was an adult by now, but she couldn't imagine herself in Lacey's shoes. Not being able to hug or kiss her daughter would've been her worst nightmare.

Maybe... just letting her hold him, with supervision, would be fine. Only for a moment.

Lacey lowered her head, smiling bitterly. "I understand, Maggie. Although, I don't know how much worse it could be at this point. It's not like I have any freedom anyway, is it?"

Still, Lacey's tears represented the sliver of hope that remained in her heart.