Lost & Insecure

Thirteen - Forgive and Forget

If Katie's life were a movie it would be comedy, and Katie would be the unfortunate main character whom karma decided to bite in the ass. Katie was waiting for the moment in the movie when her luck changed and everything suddenly fell perfectly into place but, at the same time, she was praying for a restart button. If there was a way she could go back and undo the last month or two, then Katie would have eagerly jumped at the chance. But, just as Katie had started to realize, that isn't how life works. Not in the real world.

Despite every mixed emotion she felt inside, Katie put on a happy face and pushed through school like she would have on any other given day. She pushed through the whole week with a fake smile and an endless train of rushing and jumbled thoughts. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, Katie was completely fine.

Dana gave Katie her space. She knew Katie needed that much from her, so that's what she got. Dana didn't dare to use her locker the entire week, she avoided any hallway she knew Katie would take in between classes, and she spent every lunch with Marissa in the library.

Katie wasn't dumb.

She knew what Dana was doing. It wasn't that hard to notice. But Katie let her do it. It was easier to play along and avoid Dana all together than to be forced to be reminded of the way Dana made her feel.

It was easier, but it was pointless.

Falling isn't an option. You never choose to fall, and if you think you do then you're sadly mistaken. Most people believe we don't fall, but we jump. They believe we jump once we find someone whom we want to catch us, but they're wrong. We don't jump, we fall. We fall when someone comes along and becomes the gravity holding us down to Earth.

Some people catch themselves before they can fall. Those people think it's safer where they are even if they're left behind gasping for air. Katie is one of those people. Katie would rather unhappily keep her new feelings bottled up then to let herself fall. So for that week, Dana let her.

Dana had never reacted to anyone like she did to Katie. If someone wasn't ready for her then Dana didn't need them. She wouldn't have given them space like she gave Katie. With any normal girl Dana would have changed absolutely nothing for them, but Katie wasn't just any normal girl.

"Hey..." A whisper broke through the roaring sound of the mass of students and echoed in Dana's ears.

Dana stopped walking towards the exits and turned around to face the source of the whisper. "Hey." She whispered back.

Katie found herself smiling. Not a fake smile like she had worn all week long, no, this smile was genuine. "I was wondering if you could help me out? I have a huge test in math next week and I understand like zero percent of what we're doing."

Dana laughed slightly at Katie's request. "Yeah, I'll help you out, but it can't be today."

Katie's smile faded. "What's wrong with today?"

Marissa trotted over to the two and smiled at them both. She looked at Dana, "Ready to go?"

"I'm working on a project with Marissa," Dana answered Katie's question. "But text me or something and I'll help you this weekend." Dana smiled again at Katie for a moment, and then led Marissa out of the building.

Katie was left standing in the hallway. Surrounded by hundreds of people, but she still felt alone. The thundering world around her was muted, and the sad song played in her head. That was the moment Katie realized that no one jumps; they only fall.

Katie stared blankly for a few moments, and then snapped herself out of her thoughts. She pulled out her phone and dialed. The voice on the other end spoke, and Katie perked up. "Hey! Are you busy?"