Surrounded by darkness (BxB)

Chapter 3

Caden's POV:

I woke up sweating and hyperventilating. My heart was beating like I had just ran around a track and I couldn't calm down. All that I could think about is the dark shadowy figure that looked like my dad walking towards me, yelling and ready to chase me again. I've had this nightmare before but it's always just as horrifying to wake up afterward. After about 5 minutes, I calmed my breathing and looked at the clock on my nightstand. I still have about an hour and 30 minutes before the actual alarm will go off. I obviously won't be going back to sleep after that dream. I guess I'll just start getting ready. I don't know what to do after I'm done but I'll figure something out.

I pulled myself out of the bed slowly. Still equally as sore as yesterday. I should probably take a shower, I'll change my bandages after that. After I stripped off my clothes, I turned the cold metal knob of the shower on. As I waited for the water to warm up a bit, I looked at myself in the mirror. My face looks paler than usual and my body is covered in scars. A lot of them have healed over the years but the newer ones just serve as a reminder of how fucked my life seems to be. I can see my ribs a bit. I figured that I'm skinny enough now that I can start to eat again. I do miss some foods. The way some things taste were so amazing. I don't really want to be too thin, but just enough to not look so bad in the mirror to myself. I just feel like every other person is so unique and they all look so good, and then there's me. I suppose I have the unique thing down though.

As the mirror started to fog up, I figured the shower was ready, so I stepped in cautiously. I have had enough showers after a night like last night to know that each cut is going to sting under the warm water. But it will go away after a bit. I just have to tough it out. After I was clean, I sat on the shower floor for a while, ignoring how much my hair dye will just run down the drain. I do have some time to kill so I just cried. Usually when I start to cry about one thing, it leads to me balling over every other thing. After probably 20 minutes had passed, I got up and put some medical tape stuff around my arm and wore a towel over to my closet. It's never hard to choose what to wear because I pretty much only wear black skinny jeans and a band shirt. Today I chose some ripped black jeans and a Panic! At the Disco shirt from Death of a Bachelor. I slipped on some black socks and my black vans then walked over to my dresser to change into some clear red tapers. I left the silver nose ring in again and did my foundation. When I was done with that I grabbed my towel off the floor and hung it back up in the bathroom. While I was there, I did my hair and left the room. I crept back to my room and got together my backpack so I could go to school.

I successfully made it out of the house and realized I still had some time because I got up so early. I started my walk to the park and played my music out loud. It wasn't so loud that it would wake the neighborhood or anything, but I didn't feel like untangling my earbuds right now. Once I arrived I threw my bag to the wood chips and took my seat on the swing. As I pushed off of the ground, I slowly pumped my legs back and forth. I didn't swing too high but just enough to be swinging slightly. The small breeze blew through my hair and rushed gently at my face. I closed my eyes and pictured the time when I was 2 years old. I was at this same park with my mom. Before things all went to shit. I asked her to push me and she got up from the picnic table and lightly pressed on my back, only making me go a bit higher than I could manage on my own. I felt the same wind blowing at my face and through my hair. My hair was shorter then, but not by that much. We were both laughing and the sun was high up in the sky. We had nowhere to be and nothing to worry about. Everything was okay. I tried to jump off of the swing but broke my arm and scraped my knees up a bit. Whoever the dip shit was that thought it would be an amazing idea to put a bunch of broken pieces of sticks on the ground where children play should have been fired or something. But despite the broken arm and bleeding knees, it was a good day. One that I'll remember for the rest of my life.