I pulled into my driveway and made sure that I looked like I was completely fine. My eyes were tinted red from all the tears, but I was hoping that Brendon wouldn't be able to notice.
As I got out of the car, I looked over to my right and saw my neighbors gardening. The couple looked over at me briefly and nodded. I felt my body stiffen as I remembered they weren't my actual neighbors. They were just people who were watching my husband to make sure he isn't going insane.
I quickly opened the door to my house as I looked away and avoided eye contact. I was greeted with the sweet sound of the piano and Brendon's beautiful voice. I smiled as he sang Dying in LA from his new album Pray for the Wicked. It was slower than any of the other songs, but it was certainly my favorite.
I set my stuff on the table and walked into the living room where I could see Brendon singing to Lily. She danced to his voice and clapped when he was finished. This is what I loved most in life and thinking about it being taken away made my heart hurt more and more.
Brendon was beginning another song, but he was interrupted by Lily yelling and running toward me.
"Mommy!" She yelled with joy as I picked her up and hugged her tightly. Brendon smiled and began to walk over to me. He wrapped me in a hug and kissed me passionately.
"How was your day?" Brendon asked sweetly. I frowned slightly at the question, but covered it up quick with a smile.
"It was great." I said falsely and I saw that Brendon noticed that. He was very good at catching this stuff and for some reason I thought this was going to be different.
Lily began to tug at my shirt lightly which caused me to look down. She smiled up at me and began to jump excitedly.
"Can we watch Belle?" She asked as her brown hair came across her face from jumping. I nodded and she giggled at the thought of watching her favorite movie, Beauty and the Beast. She ran out to the movie room and as I began to follow her, I was stopped by Brendon grabbing my hand lightly.
"What happened today?" He asked with concern. I sighed knowing that I was going to have to lie to him. I shook my head and tried to push it aside.
"Nothing, it was just plain work." Brendon didn't let go of me, which meant he knew it wasn't true.
"Come on. I saw that you had been crying, you can let it out." With that I began sobbing. I don't know how many times it had been today, but it seemed that this is all I could possibly do. I was scared beyond belief and I couldn't even talk to my husband about it.
Brendon hugged me tightly as I cried into his chest. He rubbed my back as he tried to calm me down which helped slightly, but it would never be enough to cure the pain I was feeling.
I felt my leg being hugged by Lily and I pulled away from Brendon momentarily. I looked down at her and her once joyful eyes had become full of sadness.
"Why are you crying Mommy?" She asked as I crouched down to her height. I wiped my checks as I felt Brendon's hand on my back to give me comfort.
"It's just a problem at work. I'll be fine." I said as she held my hand lightly. She smiled softly.
"Are you sure?" I nodded and smiled at her with all my effort.
"Of course. Now why don't you go play with your dolls for a little so that me and daddy can talk." I said cheerfully. She smiled and nodded happily as she walked out of the room.
I looked toward Brendon and he took both of my hands in his. He put his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.
"What happened, and I want the truth." I thought for a second as I formed a lie in my head. I wish I could just tell him.
"One of my patience had a heart attack today and they died in front of me. It is just hard to talk and think about." I said. He hugged me and I felt more tears stream down my face.
"Everything is going to be fine. They are in a better place now." I smiled at his response. I couldn't help the pain I felt from coming stronger and stronger knowing that I was lying to him.
"Why don't you go to the bedroom and try to sleep, or just relax for a couple minutes. I'll get Lily's movie started and I will come lay with you." I smiled and nodded slightly at his remark. That sounded nice and it sounded like the best thing I had heard all day.
Brendon kissed the top of my head and went out to turn on Lily's movie. I was turning to go to our room, but I looked out the window and saw people across the street looking through. They were just staring at me and I couldn't help but cringe at the thought of people watching me.
I walked to our room and sat on the bed. I needed to think of a way prepare things if Brendon actually does go back to his old self. I also need to make sure that he doesn't know about it.
I tried falling asleep for so long, but my mind was racing with so many thoughts. It wasn't until Brendon walked in looking exhausted that's I realized I had been lying there for hours.
He looked at me kind of surprised and very confused.
"Did you sleep at all?" He asked. I shook my head and he smiled lightly. He climbed into the bed with me and pulled me closer to him.
"Try to sleep now. You still have to work tomorrow." I smiled as he hugged my waist.
"I love you." I said as I kissed his cheek lightly. He smiled and kissed me.
"I love you too."
YOU ARE READING
Maybe Not ( a Brendon Urie Fan Fiction) *SEQUEL TO CRAZY OR IN LOVE*
FanfictionWalking into the house felt like I was walking into the deepest pits of hell and Brendon just happened to be Satan. *SEQUEL TO CRAZY OR IN LOVE* *SLOW UPDATES*