Lovely Chaos

Loved A Girl

I'm straight as a line
No confusion about the gender I want to be with
But I was in love with a girl
Sometimes I feel the love I had for her
Grab my focus and she is all I can think about
This love is unrequited
And she doesn't know she broke my heart while holding it in her hands
My blood was dripping down her hands and I cried for the total loss of my sanity
I would have jealous rages
And curse the person so fortunate to have her attention
She was mine and I was just another number to her
I wanted so much more
It was consuming me 
She took all of me and I helped her
I gave her my best
I gave her what I couldn't give myself
She held me up
And pulled me through the dark
I was more than grateful
I was more than desperate
I wanted her to love me
Or see that I loved her as more than a friend
I did everything but say I'm in love with you
Fear was an unremovable lipstick
So I sat in misery and shame
Wanting to spill my guts
Wanting to kiss her
And force the burning desire in my lungs to stop
I can not love her like this
I can not lose her
She completes me
I don't see me
Or her when I look in her eyes
I see how much we will never be that
And it is--
It was killing me
Have you ever had to get over a break up?
One only you were aware of?
I still love her
But I won't ever recover from the damage of loving someone who doesn't love you back
Yeah
I loved a girl once