I don't fucking know what is what anymore
I don't know what we are, what you want us to be, or what we will ever be.
I tell you I don't mind not having a label and just being happy by ourselves with no one involved and in the know,
But honestly I want a label of some kind, I want reassurance that you won't fuck anything up again and again every month or every other month, I want you to love me and I want to love you with little to no bumps, I want to have something special that lasts a lifetime.
I want all of that all the time, but not right now.
Specifically right now, I want you.
That means I want to be next to you, feeling your warmth, seeing you in person, smelling your familiar scent, hearing your voice in perfect clarity, touching your hands to make sure they're really there and not apart of my imagination.
I don't want to have an intense makeout session, I don't want you to get in my pants, I don't want you to touch me more than in a romantic way.
I want to be held, to be loved, to be hugged, to be kissed on the forehead, to be poked, to be giggled at because of something dumb I said, to be pulled out of the road so I don't get hit, to be shoved food no matter how many times I say I'm not hungry even though I am, to be cried on, to be caressed gently when I'm the one crying.
But right now, i just want you in my arms. If you're crying then that's okay, at least in person I can wipe your tears and kiss your head and hold you tightly. I'll hold you so tightly as if I'm trying to squeeze the sadness out of you.
This may sound possessive and clingy and cringey and cheesy,
But you're mine.
I'm not saying you're my person and only mine and you can't talk to anyone and vice versa.
I'm saying you're my responsibility to love, you're my friend to help, you're my more-than-friend to call cute, you're my significant other to cherish.
I'm sorry I slip and make mistakes, I'm sorry I pull harder when you need space.
I'm sorry I argue and push you over your limit.
All I ask of you is to give me your love, and some other things that we can discuss that aren't as important.
I love you my bärchen,
(Which I don't know how you find that nickname cute as it's in an incredibly angry language)
And I will forever unconditionally.
