After speaking to Harry I just left and went straight up to my room. I've been thinking about it all night, I can't sleep, I can barely function without it crossing my mind. I love him, I loved him. I mean he's put me through hell and back, everyone knows it but I just.. I can't help it.
I sat on my bed twiddling my hands when I heard a knock on my door. My mum appeared with two cups of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows and whipped cream; my favourite.
"How are you, hunny?" She asked, sitting beside me.
"I've been better, I suppose."
"What are you thinking?"
"I don't know, my mind is all over the place. I think I still love him."
"Look Chloe, i'm your Mother so I'm just going to put it straight, okay?" I nodded, "I've never been a fan of you and Harry, you know that. But I was willing to put it behind me because I knew how you felt, I can see you love him, hell we can all see you love him, but does he honestly love you back? It wasn't a one off and you know that, he's hurt you plenty before and I think you just need to snap out of the 'love is all roses and cuddles and happy days' phase because it's not. I dont like seeing you broken and that's what he's done to you. Chloe please just do what's best for you." She stood up gently placing a kiss on my forehead and leaving the hot chocolate on my bedside table.
I knew then what I had to do. I text Harry and told him i'd be around in the morning. I tried my best to shove everything out of my head and fall asleep, mentally going over what I was going to say to him.
-
"It'll be fine, darling." My mum reassured me as I walked out of the door.
A million and one things were buzzing through my head right now, how was Harry going to react? What would tomorrow be like? I just had to breathe and get on with it.
Harry slowly made his way out of the door, dressed in a loose grey joggers and a black tshirt. He looked a mess, probably from last night. I'd say we looked pretty similar, bags under our eyes, messy hair, old clothes. Broken heart attire, I guess you'd call it.
We made our way into his back garden, taking a seat on the swingy chair we sat on the first day we met. God I remember it like yesterday, it was nearly a year ago now, it's crazy.
"I don't have any excuses about what I did but-"
"You never do though, Harry. Time after time I just accept your apology. I trust that you'll never do it again but you always do. God, you'd think i'd realise by now." I mentally kicked myself, "but the truth is, i'm just tired of it. I'm tired of trying for something that isn't there. Broken heart after broken heart and I'm just sick of it, I cant put up with crying myself to sleep every night thinking that it'll all die down because love will make it better. My answer to everything now is 'but we still love each other' and honestly Harry, we don't. You don't cheat on the one you love, you don't repeatedly hurt the one you love. And you know what happens when you do? They loose the love they had for you, it doesn't matter if they don't want to, it just disappears. This time last week you were the love of my life as cheesy as that sounds and today we're sat here. I want to love you but I can't. My heart can only break a number of times before it can't take it anymore. And I know that when I go to sleep tonight without you by my side i'll break. I'll break every night until I get over you. But it's worth it if I don't have to wait for the next time my boyfriend will cheat on me. I'm sorry it's come to this." I placed one hand on the side of his face before leaning in to hug him, "When you find the boy you were the day we met, the day we sat on this seat together and fell in love, come find me."
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OH WOW THAT WAS EMOTIONAL TO WRITE, I IM LITERALLY CRYING.
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Megan<3
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Scarred (Harry Styles Fanfic)
Romance"Remind me that when this is all over we'll still have each other."
