Being Bleu

Chapter 7

-------Bleu--------

              I  sat on my couch with my feet curled underneath me next to Axel, who kept drifting off to sleep. We'd already been to the Square that day, and I'd sold around five paintings, which gave me enough money to pay for rent. I laid my head back on the couch with a smile on my face. I had everything I wanted; enough money for my own loft, a sort-of career, and I was away from the suffocating place I used to call home. New Orleans was my home, my paradise, not Colorado. It was all I ever wanted, just to express myself through art and to be happy. I was happy, but there was one thing that I wanted but I couldn't have. Axel. Yes, we were friends and our relationship was smooth, but I couldn't help but want more from him. Something I'd never have with someone as perfect as him, or probably any guy. As if he sensed me thinking about him, Axel rolled over on my couch and squinted his sleepy green eyes at me. I smiled again and resisted the urge to brush his short bangs out of his face. I knew his hair would feel soft under my fingers and that thought tempted me. I couldn't touch him, though. I might lose it. Axel stuck a cigarette in his mouth and I was about to tell him ot put it away, but the phone rang. I shot him a glare which he returned with a flash of his teeth before going to the kitchen to answer it.

            "Hello?" I answered, thinking it was someone wanting me to play my guitar for the coffee shop, but oh, was I wrong.

           "Bleu. You're coming home, now." It took a second for the voice to register in my mind. My mother. When I realized it was her, the woman that caused me so many problems and put me through so much stuff, I gripped the counter and closed my eyes as a wave of nausea washed over me.

             "How did you get my number?" I hissed through my teeth, not really caring about being nice to her. When I left her behind to begin my new life, I made sure to change my number and everything so she couldn't contact me. Now I was on the phone with her, listening to her annoying high-pitched voice. What the heck had happened to my plan?

            "A friend....it doesn't matter. You need to come home, Bleu, it's an emergency. Your father was in an accident and he's not going to make it. I want you to come and say goodbye to him so we can start making funeral arrangements and everything," she rambled on in the same tone, not even sounding sad about my father dying. I pressed a hand to my mouth to keep from sobbing as that sank in. My father was pretty much dead and mom didn't even seem to care. I didn't even ask for details over exactly what had happened. I didn't really want to know at that moment. All that mattered was that he was dead and I'd never see him again or hear his voice. I never planned to when I left New Orleans, but there was a difference between me just not seeing him and him being dead. A big difference.

              "I don't even have money for a ticket," I heard myself say, but I didn't even remember thinking of that. Mom gave a short, sarcastic laugh when I said that.

             "Always mooching off mommy, huh? Whatever. I'll send you the stupid ticket, just come home," she hissed and then hung up on me. My whole world tilted and my firm grip on the counter wasn't enough to keep me from collapsing anymore. My legs buckled and I landed on the tile floor on my knees. I could hear the phone clatter to the ground and Axel's deep voice rumbling through my hazy thoughts, but I wasn't really listening. My father was dead. My rich, inconsiderate jerk of a father was dead and I wasn't shedding a tear about it. I was turning into my mother, a robot with no feelings or emotions. Just an empty shell walking around. I didn't want to be that. I wanted to cry that my father was dying, I wanted to feel something besides the numbness that seemed to plague my whole screwed-up family.

            "Bleubird. Get off the floor," Axel murmured. His hand brushed my shoulder and brought me back to reality. He was crouched on the floor beside me, watching me with an uncharacteristically worried expression. He brushed a pink strand of hair out of my eyes and I blinked at him.

            "Do you mind telling me what that was about?" He asked, just like he did that morning when I woke up beside him and completely flipped my wig.

          "That was my mother who called. My dad was in an accident and I need to come home as soon as I can. He's....not doing well." I whispered, unable to flat out say that dad was going to die. Axel quickly wrapped his arms around me when he heard the news. Although I was trying to stay away from him, I relaxed against his chest, already feeling comforted by him.

          "It'll be okay," he promised me. I nodded against him before pulling away. I picked up the phone that had been dropped earlier with an idea in mind. I redialed the number that my mom had called from and flashed Axel a shaky smile and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

              "Mother dear, make that two tickets. I have someone you want to meet."

             This was going to be just fantastic.