Being Jade Thirlwall

07

@LittleMix: At the cafe with this cutie. ;) XxJadexXpic.twitter.com/ge4Sd5

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                                               I locked my phone, still munching on the brownie Sam and I had split. He had my legs across his lap, tweeting a picture of me on my phone. I smiled at him, a flash surrounding my face from his phone. "Damn it. Stupid flash," he groaned as I rubbed my eyes gently. "Aw, you poor thing," I cooed in a mocking tone, causing him to smile and roll his eyes. We went back to our phones and sipping our milkshakes. I had gotten strawberry and he had gotten vanilla. We would ocassionally sip each other's to mix up the flavors like children. And once I trailed my tongue over my lips to catch any spilt shake, he leaned over and gave me a small kiss. It made my cheeks flush a dark red, my arm involuntarily slapping his. "Stop that," I told him with a small giggle, nuzzling my nose against his. I heard a few squeals from behind us, spotting a few Little Mix shirts, as well. I was surprised at all the fans today, especially since we aren't that big of a hit yet. I waved at a few of them as they all were being held back. "Jade, can we please have a picture?" one asked, who looked a bit like Perrie. She had the pink hairstyle and wore Jesy's nail line on her fingers. I nodded, rising from my seat and approaching them with a grin.

We took a great picture with smiling faces and then one with her going cross eyed and I had done my signature monkey face. Actually. I was the one who had inspired Liam to do it. I kissed her cheek and signed her CD, moving to the next. This one was a video on her Instagram. "Hi, mixers!" I said, waving. She let out a small squeal out of excitement while I kissed her cheek like the last. She moved away with tears streaming down her face. The next to last girl asked me if I loved her and would follow her on twitter. I said of course and accepted her username right away. After she had walked away, the last one looked at me sadly. She had tears in her eyes and gave me a big hug. After she had pulled away, she began her story. "Jade, I can't tell you how important you are to me. You and the other girls have helped me so much since two thousand eleven. I had always known the four of you would make it big. I mean, you're all so talented. Who would even think to turn you down. But when you were put into a group and sang together, it's like my world changed. Every time you girls passed, I'd cry. Every time you girls cried, I cried. You guys are my world.

But you had this big impact on me. It's like we're the same person Jade. I mean, when you girls were introduced by Simon and your song came on, I couldn't breathe. You were all so beautiful and when each of you pointed out your flaws, I couldn't see them. And then there was that livestream. You all told us that we were all beautiful in our own way. But you, Jade, you meant it differently. I could see you had gone through something horrible. You didn't look the same as the others. You looked sad; tired. I've been harming myself for five years now. And because of you, and Little Mix, I've been so much better. There are times where I want to just end it all, but I just turn on you guys' music. Your voice, Jesy's voice, Leigh's voice, Perrie's voice, all of your voices make my heart skip beats. It makes me feel like I have something to live for. And I can't express how grateful I am for you guys. And your mam's. They did, after all, go through many painful hours of labor with you girls. I love you, Jade.

I really do. And I know that you honestly don't know me at all, but I know you. I feel like I've known you forever, you know? And I am so sorry about Harry. He didn't deserve you. You are so perfect and beautiful and unique that he shouldn't of had you in the first place. You deserve to be treated like a princess. Because you are all of our princess. You are us Mixer's princess, Jade. Don't forget that." After her speech had ended, I was crying myself. Her words touched my heart more than anyone could have ever done. I embraced her in my arms, whispering a million 'i love you's. And I meant it. I do love all of our Mixers, but this one is special. She's special to me and will always be. "And I understand that in about a few days, you won't remember this... So I wrote it down for you," she told me, sniffling. A light pink piece of paper was then stuffed in my pocket by the shaking girl, tears falling less and less. I grabbed her face and smiled at her gently. "And you should remember that you are perfect and are good enough. Do you hear me?" I asked her, raising both eyebrows in question. She only nodded, embracing my slightly smaller body in her arms. I didn't want to let her go. I truly didn't. But you sometimes have to let those important go. And that's what I did. "Let me have your twitter name so you can DM me whenever," I told her, unlocking my phone.

She spoke it in a hushed voice, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. But the part that mainly struck me was that she harmed herself. Why would someone as beautiful and sweet as her have a reason to do what she did? I pressed follow and smiled softly. "Have an amazing day, baba. I love you," I whispered to her as she wiped her eyes. She wished me the same and departed from the scene in a crying fury. I wiped my own eyes, walking slowly back to Sam. He spotted the tears, got up, and rushed to my side. "Are you all right? Did she say something hurtful?" he asked me. I only let out a breath and shook my head, wrapping my arms around his torso. He held me there as I cried, my mascara staining his light blue shirt that fit him so well. I would ocassionally apologise for ruining it, but he would only shush me and tell me it was okay. My heart was hurting. I wanted to keep her there and adopt her or something. But we moved away from each other when my phone suddenly buzzed. It was Leigh-Anne. The message made my heart stop.

From: Leighh<3

You need to get home. We all have to talk.

Sent 10:15am

I gulped, looking up at the pale boy in front of me. "I have to go," I told him in a hushed tone, shaking my head. His lips formed a pout, but he only kissed me on the forehead. "All right. Go," he told me, a smile forming on my own face. "You're so amazing..." His cheeks turned a faded pink color, but he just smiled at me. I stood on my toes and pressed a small kiss to his lips before descending away from him and moving to my car. We had paid after gathering our refreshments, so I had nothing to worry about. After exiting the building, I jogged to my car and hopped in, cranking it almost immediately. I turned on the radio, waiting for the second song on the tracklist. And here played our song, Always Be Together. I let out a groan as I listened to our harmonies, feeling satisfied with the way we all sounded. But I was angry at the reason of the placement. The fan was speaking about Harry and I, not about Little Mix. I wanted to hit something; to break something. But I just silently drove home, still curious about what the girls needed. Thoughts raced through my head. Could it be Sam? Everyone should know about him by now. Plus, we're not exactly dating just yet.

It took twenty minutes to get home at the speed I was going. I parked, shut the car off, and got out. Perrie was sitting outside waiting for me, a sad expression on her face. "Pez, what's wrong?" I asked her as I approached the step she was sat on. She got up as I stood in front of her, shaking her head. "We have to talk."

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Tada! Here's the seventh chapter. I apologise for not being on often. :(

It makes me feel horrible, trust me.

But what do you guys think they need to discuss?

Is it Sam?

I don't know. You'll have to find out. ;)