Mischief's Shield

Chapter 8 - You're a smart idiot

"It was actually enjoyable." Steve was telling me about when he watched The Wizard Of Oz, I had asked how he understood the Personal Flying Monkeys reference and it made him start fangirling over the movie.

"How many times have you watched it?" I was smiling like crazy that I finally got to talk about what he enjoys. After the two genius' went to the lab alone us two decided to take a walk around and get to know each other better.

"Somewhere between 3 and 26 times." I chuckled at his inaccuracy. I had never taken Cap to be the humorous kind of person. That fact only made him seem more like a friend to me than a mission. "I may have forgot how to keep count of things when I was frozen for 70 years."

"If you're not careful you might be frozen for another 10." The one thing I liked most about talking to Cap was his laugh: it was just so soft and gentle. It made you smile when he laughed and it just added to the feeling of safety you get when you're around him.

"You're actually a nice person to talk to, Kirstie." That was the first compliment I had got in a long time: most people when talking to me just walk off when they've had enough of my stories.

"Not too bad yourself, ice-pop." I pushed him towards the wall of the hallway slightly with my elbow as I returned his laugh with my own. Even though he was about 65 years older than me I would still consider him as a young friend or family member; he kind of acted like an younger brother to me.

"Stop it," He did the same action to me with fake anger, smiling like an idiot. "Come on, we're here." Steve gestured towards the door of the laboratory that Tony and Bruce were supposably working in.

"Hey!" Cap and I walked through the doorway once we caught Stark trying to anger Banner by shocking him. The nerves on that man are going to be the end of him one day - you don't just have money then get out of every situation because of it.

"Nothing?" Tony completely ignored Steve's interruption and asked the scientist how he contained his inner Hulk. A look of confusion was plastered on his face but it was also clear he was intrigued that a simple, shy man can contain such anger so easily even when put on the spot or attacked by a complete stranger.

"Are you instance?" My voice had changed from happy to I'm about to kill you within 0.1 seconds. I still didn't understand why Fury even asked Stark to come with us: why didn't he just buy one of his suits from him and make Agent Hill or Galaga Guy wear it and fight instead of hiring a complete idiot that doesn't care one bit about people's safety.

"You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz, bongo drums, huge bag of weed?" The more Tony began to list, the more I was considering just snapping his neck there and then and wearing his stupid metal man suit myself. We don't even need this stupid man, we just need his technology. Why don't we just torture the answers out of him?

"Is everything a joke to you?" Steve was trying as hard as he could to not loose his cool but wasn't succeeding very much. The brain of Anthony Stark was about the size of a grape, better yet: a raisin.

"Funny things are." Was he seriously saying that endangering everyone on this helicarrier was funny? What on earth did I do to deserve this? I swear I'm going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the Galaxy...

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offence, Doc." Cap was way better at handling these kind of situations than me. I have rules I go by when I'm around dumb people:

Rule 1: Try and escape idiots.
Rule 2: Ignore everything idiots say.
Rule 3: Kill idiots when possible.
Rule 4: Never bury an idiot's body. If you do they will come back to life and turn you into an idiot too.
Rule 5: Never be in a relationship with an idiot - it ruins your sanity.
Rule 6: If you ever understand an idiot was your mouth out with salty milk.
Rule 7: Call the police on an idiot if they follow you home and try and stab you.
Rule 8: Follow rules 1 to 7.
Rule 9: Never break rules 1 to 8.
Rule 10: Follow Rule 9.