Absolution- Alias Fanfiction

36) Jack & Irina

Music for this chapter (on repeat): Fever by Peggy Lee, Lady by Lenny Kravitz.

THIRTY-SIX

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"Yes, you're right, I guess. But, I would still rather have her growing up without so much pressure on her...to have some semblance of a normal childhood and life." Irina stroked Lena's cheek wistfully. 'Isn't that what every parent wants? It's what she wanted for Sydney, too.'

"Mom, let's face it. We will never be defined as people in the 'normal' category per other people's definitions, I don't see how that's going to change now." Sydney laughed, shaking Irina's foot with her hand, "What is normal anyway? Isn't 'normal' for you, what you make it? I mean, my life to me is 'normal'...it may not seem normal to other people, but its normal to me and vice versa. I don't know anything else. Lena won't know anything else but life as the daughter of the Russian Tsar. She won't ever know a life outside that fact. That will be her normal. The attention, the press, all of that, will be her normal and it will be 'ok,' because she will never no a life outside that." She smiled softly to her mother, seeing Irina was obviously very upset with this concept, this notion.

"But there is a very big difference in growing up the daughter of someone like myself, continuing to run things like I am now or growing up as the Tsarevicha under an Imperial Russia." Irina paused, her long fingers and hand palming the tiny head of her sleeping daughter in a protective manner, "And I would rather have her growing up under less pressure with the way I am doing things now."

"This is and has been a tremendous responsibility for you. One I don't envy at all," Katya picked up her sister's hand and kissed the back of it with a smile as she lay beside her. "A role you've accepted and taken on without whining or complaining and you are doing a fantastic job! Mama would be very proud you." She smiled up into Irina's dark eyes, "I understand your reasons perfectly, Rina, and whatever you decide, I'll be here to support you all the way."

"So will I." Sydney sat up and kissed Irina's cheek, before carefully wrapping her arms around her neck so she didn't squash Lena when she hugged their mother.

Irina kissed her temple with a smile as Sydney pulled back.

Sydney dropped a light kiss to Lena's head adding, "But I still think our 'remarkable baby' here, is destined for greatness. She just glows as does anyone who's around her. She's the perfect baby." She kissed her again, "She hardly every cries, never spits ups, sleeps like a champion and is pretty content in anyone's arms and the fact that she evokes emotions other then rage out of Kendall, whom I used to think ate babies for breakfast," She laughed making Irina smile, "I say is certainly something spectacular. Whether she grows up and becomes the next Tsar or becomes a teacher," She smiled at Irina, thinking about the other occupation her mother once held and was fantastic at, "We're all going to love her just the same and I'm sure she'll be happy either way." Irina grabbed Sydney's dimple grinned face with one hand and pulled her face in to kiss her quickly on the lips wearing a tremendous smile.

"I love you." She pulled back staring into her daughter's big brown eyes. "I wonder all the time how I got so lucky, so blessed in having you for my daughter, especially after the life I've led." Irina kept her hand against Sydney's cheek looking at her daughter's beautiful face, "Like the devil giving birth to two angels. I didn't think God would grant me such miracles..." She smiled shyly, "But I think he knew, you would salvage what was left of my soul. You, Sydney Ann, are the reason I changed who I used to be, my reason to start over new." Irina was speaking from her heart. She wanted to make sure Sydney knew, just how important she was in her life. "Lena may be my second chance, but you are my saving grace."