SMH (DISCONTINUED)

LAUREN IS 22

Published on September 5, 2018.

Desc: Scroll to 5:24 for maximum drunk shenanigans. -D

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[DISCLAIMER: The following events took place on June 27th of 2018. If you are new to the channel, please recognize that alcohol was involved and we are not always like this. Kindest regards, Dinah Jane Hansen.]

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Dinah: For those of you interested, we are partying hard from Camren's kitchen. And by "partying hard" I mean we're staying safe and professing our love for our girl.

[ B E E P ]

[Earlier...]

[Dinah is holding the camera. Normani is standing just ahead of her so her back is in the frame. Dinah reaches around her, pressing the doorbell.]

[When there's no immediate answer, Dinah presses again. And again. And slowly, her rings turn into a pattern. Normani dances along, shaking her ass a little.]

[Suddenly the door opens, a very annoyed Lauren standing in the threshold. Normani stops dancing immediately. Dinah presses the doorbell one final time for good measure.]

Normani: ...

Dinah [off camera]: We're here.

Lauren: [quickly] I know you're here. Come in.

Normani: Happy birthday, Laur.

[Normani leans in for a hug, kissing Lauren on the cheek. Lauren hugs Dinah next, winking at the camera in her hands.]

Dinah [off camera]: Guess what day it is?

Lauren: [flips her hair sassily] Iss ma birthday!

Dinah [off camera]: How old are ya, sis?

Lauren: Twenty-two!

Dinah [off camera]: Give us a little twirl, queen.

[Lauren spins around on her heels, smiling widely into the frame as she comes to a halt. Dinah allows the viewers a moment to take in her adorable black dress, which sits tightly against her frame.]

[Dinah zooms in and out of Lauren's ass.]

Dinah [off camera]: Thank you, God. Today is the day you blessed us with this ass.

Camila [off camera, in the distance]: My ass, back off!

[Dinah turns the camera around so her face is in the frame.]

Dinah: [whispers] This will only get worse with the more drinks they consume...

[ B E E P ]

[Dua holds up her cup, gaining the attention of most of the girls gathered in the living room. Ally sits, clearly drunk, fiddling with a button on her jacket.]

Dua: I just wanna say... Lauren, you're pretty fucking dope. You're a great friend, and you have way too much wisdom to share at your age. I'm constantly surprised by the grown up shit that's always coming out of your mouth. Anyway, thank you for looking out for me and for the other girls. We appreciate you so much. Happy birthday, girl.

Ashley: [knocking the rest of her drink back] Cheers to that!

Normani: Do we all have to give sappy speeches? Cause I'd rather just say you're my main bitch and be done with it.