New York Heroes

Bring your Brown Pants

A/N You know the ringing sound that censors cuss words? (Saying "cuss words" makes me feel like a little kid.) Whenever you see asterisks (***), it symbolizes the censor sound.

~~~

Camp Half Blood
P.S. Can you update any slower, Author? ~DP

After bursting into the room and making his weird statements, the man froze.

"What's going on?" Percy asked.

"Shhh!" The man hissed. He glanced at the readers and grinned. "Oh, nevermind. We're back! Hey guys! It's been a while! I didn't think the author could write any slower."

Piper glanced at Annabeth, "Who's he talking to?" Annabeth just shrugged.

The stranger turned to Percy. "Were you saying something? Go ahead, man."

Percy gave the stranger a weird look before continuing his question. "You were talking about the 'Author'? 'Voting'? 'Chapters'? Like in a book?"

The man started laughing. "Sorry, sorry. Keep going! Sometimes I just forget that you guys don't know!"

"Know what?" the son of Poseidon asked, lowering his voice conspiratorily.

The man straightened suddenly. "Uh, 'nothing'."

Percy frowned. "I'd believe you, but the air quotes are kinda suspicious. . . " He eyed the stranger curiously, ". . . are we in a book?"

Annabeth snorted. "That's impossible."

The man snorted back. "So are superpowers. Your point?"

Jason sighed. "Why is this our priority right now? We don't even know this guy's name!"

"Oh ****! I forgot that you guys don't know! Some of the readers figured it out right away! But none of you?" The man stuck out a hand. "I'm Wade, but my friends call me Deadpool." He frowned. "Wait a minute. My enemies call me that, too. . . "

"What was that strange ringing sound, mutant?" Thor asked.

"Huh? Oh, that was the ******. It ******* me whenever I push a button."

"What?" Bruce asked.

Leo grinned. "That's a ******, isn't it? Like in the *******?" He stared at Deadpool in a mix of confusion and awe. "Did you just ****** me?"

Annabeth gasped. "Oh! It's a ******. I should have realized it sooner. Maybe if I'd watched more ****** as a kid."

Nico's brow furrowed. "What's going on?"

"I. . . I'm not sure," Hazel replied, frowning.

Steve narrowed his eyes. "I get the feeling that somehow, this is offensive."

"****! You guys are from the past!" Deadpool exclaimed. "You don't have a ******* clue what's going on!"

Steve glared at the stranger. "Will you stop that?"

"I am very perplexed," Thor stated. "What is this ringing sound? Is this your power, mutant?"

Deadpool stared at him. "No, it's a ******."

"A what?" Thor asked.

Sadie sighed. "A censor. Like how they bleep out curse words in movies."

"****! I didn't expect you to say it!" Deadpool said.