Narcolepsy (A Love Story)

9: Blake

Why are you doing this to me?

God, I really am such an asshole. I was playing a game with her, albeit thinking we'd both come out of it winners, but I wasn't thinking about how it would feel to her. She was helpless, vulnerable, and I was taking advantage of it. Jesus, I hadn't even gotten consent.

I'm assaulting her.

I didn't really do much beyond what she already knew about, what she was waking up to, but suddenly I felt like the most egregious pervert in creation for playing out my fantasies on her unsuspecting and unresisting body. Unable to resist, I should say.

No wonder she was going to leave the minute I figured out her secret. It gave new meaning to Rick's statement about her having "problems" at other jobs in her past, but the thought of someone else touching her like this, manipulating her body when she was helpless, filled me with a sick rage.

The irony wasn't lost on me, but for whatever reason I knew it was different between us. What I was doing was wrong, but it wasn't necessarily unwelcome. I deduced that from the moments she was conscious, how she'd rub her face against me, squeeze me with her hands and arms. She wanted me — maybe not like this exactly, but the desire was still there.

There I go, justifying it again. She didn't say yes, asshole. That's the same as saying no.

I was suddenly awash with shame. Guilt and shame. I was clearly hurting her, though I didn't mean anything malicious by my actions, I was just caught up in the moment and let my dick do my thinking. I needed to stop this, now.

I kept holding her against me as I bent forward and got to my knees, only then laying her gently on the ground. When I released her completely and sat back on my heels, she instantly curled up on her side and brought her knees towards her chest in a protective gesture.

I wasn't sure what to do now. Should I lay here with her? Would she feel better waking up with me or alone? What do I even say to her, sorry I molested you while you were unconscious?

I laid down on my side facing her and watched her breathe. Her eyes were twitching.