Almost.

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

 

I didn’t know what I was doing or even thinking. But it happened. I couldn’t change that. My lungs were collapsing around me and the air was thick and clogging my airways with some sort of infected air. My body was shaking, my fingertips were having their own heart attack as I jumbled my fingers through my hair. I was contemplating running or staying in my spot, alone and oddly empty. My heart was falling into my stomach while my stomach was swarmed with every insect in the world. My head was buzzing and light even without any drinks in my system I felt free and lightheaded.

Everything around me was rushing into one spot. It was like a blackhole occurring right in front of my very eyes. A large dish of blackness washed over my vision. The music was inaudible to my ears then and everything became deaf towards me. My eyes were open though, examining my surroundings as if I was just walking into the building. Suddenly everything came back, like a weird, neverending rewind of the same tape. I was in a video and this video never stopped playing. That is, until I ended it myself.

I could still feel his hands as if he were touching me now. The way they curved and slowed down my hips and back, cradling me in one spot so I wouldn’t dare step out of place and ruin it all. It was like he knew how I was thinking of the worst things that could happen. So when he walked after that, it took my breath away how easily he had done it. How easy it must have been to lie to me, to make up some love story between the two of us so I’d be the fool and believe him.

I was the fool. I was the stupid person that was so caught up in her own mind, I couldn’t see what was in front of me. I wasn’t living a dream, I was embracing it with open arms and a warm smile. Nightmares were my life, and I just caused a rollercoaster of them. I had wanted to believe him, every word he uttered sounded so peaceful, so sincere, it was like he memorized it before he actually spoke it.

The lights were flashing but I didn’t bother with them. My mind was in overdrive and I was nearly at the edge, the crash was nearing me. I could picture the glass breaking the picture and my body heaving forward in a heap of pain and tears. It was only a matter of time before I landed in a pit of blackness. I was merely there, my eyes were only ghostly overcasting the blackness that searched out for me, reached out for me.

Suddenly, I wasn’t Malina any more. I could see myself in a new light, a new awarua. I could see myself, standing in the center of the dance floor with my hands tied together in knots and my body falling. My knees would weaken and I’d collapse. Something was blocking me, keeping me from colliding with the ground, it was like a gravitational pull was making me stay in place.

I couldn’t hear anything. It was as if everything went deaf around me and the only thing I could really hear was the pounding, rapidness of his footsteps as he walked away. My head was jolting and pounding, I couldn’t breathe. Everything in my system stopped, my heart dropped, my lungs collapsed and my body shook. It was all fading, like the end of the movie. The credits rolled yet I still stood.

“I saw that,” Savannah yelled through the blaring music, only I merely heard her. I couldn’t hear anything at the moment. But either way, my head snapped in her direction. Her hand was placed on my forearm, I hadn’t even noticed she had touched me. “You just kissed that kid. Did you get a number? Name? Oh, please tell me you got his name.”she was rambling and I didn’t know how to stop her from speaking. My body was in shock from my actions, from the desire that set my insides off, from the determination that settled upon his eyes.

“Come on, Savannah,” Kimmy chimed in, unexpectedly with an eyeroll. “It’s obvious. It was Conley.” I didn’t know how to answer or what to expect but when Savannah turned towards me with wide eyes and mouth ajar, I felt my insides boil like a fire was brewing right beside me. It was heated and burning at my skin, red marks surfaced and my skin became raw.