Roman Holiday (Frerard)

12- Missing You

Frank's POV

Little did he know, I knew Bert raped him in the bathroom. Diarrhea my ass. He was raped and way too scared and traumatized to leave the stall. I only said I believed him on account of, I didn't want him to explain all of that and have some type of breakdown that traumatized people usually have.

I know him better than I know my own dick. And I jerk off at least 8 times a day. Me. The drive home was quiet. He kept looking outside of the window and made no eye contact with me.

When we got home, he went to the bathroom to take a "shower". I asked him if I could join, and he said yes after taking a huge deep breath. We were both in the tub, and no we were not kneeling with a gallon of milk. I'm not apologizing.

I sat behind him, my legs around his waist and my lips on his neck. He had an amazing body. And his dick. It was not a bad dick. I'm actually a terrible person. I wanted to pin him down on my bed and make love to him, but clearly he was scared and sad, so sex probably wasn't the best thing. I wish there was a way to make him feel better and feel loved.

I heard him cry. "Shh, it gets better, Gee. It gets better." I kissed him slowly and passionately. "You're safe now. He's not here at our home." This was only home to me because he was here.

We both got up and I hugged him from the front. I grabbed a towel to dry him off and I saw bruises all over his body. GODDAMMIT, BERT! I knew he did this to Gerard.

"Frank, I'm so sorry I let him do this to me... he raped me at Starbucks and I stayed in the stall for 20 minutes while being petrified."

"It's not your fault."

"I asked for it by being a slut. He wouldn't have raped me had I not hooked up with the entirety of the city."

"I don't care what reputation you have, how you dress, what type of guys you've been with. Rape is not the victim's fault. And you will get justice for what he's done to you. Whether you choose to realize it or not, you were mentally, physically, and sexually abused. He damaged you. Not because you let him, but because he's a douchebag."

"I'm worthless. Why should my body even matter? All of these scars, all of these bruises... I deserve them because I'm worthless."

"You were groped as a kid. And now, to punish yourself, you're sleeping around and letting guys abuse you and taking the blame for them abusing you. I won't stand for it. I love you, Gee. I love you so much. And I'm here for you. You can push me away and pretend you're okay, but you're not. And I will be here for you until I die."

"I was 5 when my babysitter groped me. But I could have done something."

"Gerard. Never for a second blame yourself." I kissed his cheek. "You didn't know what to do, you were really little."

"You know, Frank, you're the only person that doesn't blame me for getting groped at 5."

"Mikey blames you?"

"No. He doesn't know. He was two. My parents thought I wanted it. Yes, a 5 year old with dreams and ambitions to go far in life, wanted a 30 year old to molest them without their consent. Every 5 year olds dream."

"Gee..."

"Bert knew. And that's one of the many reasons he spits on me, hits me, rapes me, fondles me, yells at me... he blames me for it too, and he once called me a slut at heart. He said I was born a slut."

He kissed me. "Never for a second blame yourself."