Nic
I've been seeing Rj for a few weeks now.
Yung office ko kasi malapit lang sa flat niya. After nagkita ulit kami accidentally sa convenience store, while I bought dinner to take home to my place, he asked if we could start meeting "non-accidentally".
"Aminin mo, sinusundan mo talaga ako!"
Rj rolled his eyes, "Nung namudmud ba ang Diyos ng pagka-assuming, sinalo mo lahat?"
Bakit ba? Mahirap na 'no.
"Ganito, hindi kita susunduin, hindi kita ihahatid, hindi kita ililibre... ano pa? Ano pang gusto mo?"
"Bakit ka ba nangungulit?"
"Ewan ko. Ikaw gusto kong makausap these days eh. Sorry pero marami na akong nawalang kaibigan kaya naghahanap ako ng bago. Kung ayaw mo naman okay lang."
That sobered me. I kept him at bay, thinking he was *ssh*le and a half for running out on his fiancée so I never realized he was also going through some stuff, too.
"Uy sorry naman. O sige na. Payag na pero ikekwento mo kung bakit ka tumakbo ha? Malaki kasi talaga issue ko dun."
"Wag na." He crossed his arms and turned away.
"Huy. Sorry na kasi." I moved to his front.
"Wag na."
I rolled my eyes. "O, eh di wag."
Ayun humabol. Nag-i-inarte lang.
But that's how it started.
During one of those meet ups, he admitted, "Good friends kami, even during our time together, we were good friends... but I think we both realized we didn't feel anything more than that."
"Hindi niyo narealize sooner?!"
"It's... we did pero alam mo yun? How do you just tell people, wala pala talaga. Ilang years together, engaged tapos wala? It didn't make sense. And it was difficult to explain it between us, lalo na sa ibang tao."
Hindi ko gets.
Siguro kasi hindi ko din ma-imagine yung sarili ko being in a relationship with someone I wasn't sure I loved.
Choosy ako. Oo. Bakit ba. Basta when I fall in love, I will love all in. Kaya dapat sure ako na love ko, di ba?
To a certain extent, I guess I got it. "Parang in a sense, trying to make a bad situation work out."
"Oo, that's the closest I could explain it. Tapos, if I think about it, was it really bad? Kasi maayos kami eh, wala akong ibang gusto... it's just that I realized na hindi ko siya mahal. And ganun din pala siya with me."
"Eh kaya lang because of that ang dami tuloy galit sayo."
"Yes. Well, family is family... sana maayos kami and I'll work on that naman... for the others, it makes room for new friends."
After that, rare na namin napag-usapan yung issue kasi bakit pa?
We became barkada. He took to calling me "Nicolas" kasi ang siga ko daw mas bagay ang Nicolas. "Kulas, samahan mo naman ako sa mall."
Or
"Nicolas! Late ka na naman! Ang tagal mo!!!!"
Kapag may new Marvel movie, I'd ask him kasi I found out na favorite niya yun. He's the same, he'd call me agad if there's a new romcom
I may be interested in.
Pumayag na din ako sa hatid/sundo minsan because I'm kuripot. Tipid sa gas kung si Rj ang may dala ng car, at tipid sa pamasahe! "Thank you, Boogs! You the best!"
Even people at work got so used to me having Rj around. Pero paulit-ulit kong ineexplain na friends lang kami.
Imagine my surprise when one day, I called Rj. "Boogieman! Let's watch a movie! May palabas si Papa P!"
"Uhm. Nicolas, pwede bang sa weekend na? May ipapa-date kasi sa akin tong pinsan ko."
"Ah ganun. O sige. Mag deodorant ka ha. Baka anong amoy niyang kili-kili mo sa date."
He chuckled then bid me goodbye.
May date si Boogs? Hala. Selos ba ito? Nagseselos ba ako?
Hindi ah. Wala yun.
Pero sana may tinga pa si Boogs para maturn off yung date.
