In My Eyes

Chapter Two

          Ben

          "Alright, class. We have a new student joining us today," my new science teacher explains, introducing me. "This is Ben." She pauses. "You can have a seat over there," she says, pointing to an empty seat next to an extremely bored looking guy. He looks as if he's literally sleeping.

Putting my stuff down on the floor next to me, I scan the room. Then I see a familiar braided head. Dammit, I think to myself. She's all the way up there while I'm stuck in the back next to this loser?

The teacher, Mrs. Watson, starts by taking attendance. At some point during her long listing of names, Bianca peers back at me and smiles. I smile right back. She turns around quickly, though, being that her name was called.

The class continues, consisting mostly of boring review for me. Since I did a lot of chemistry-related things in my freshman science class, this introductory crap is really wearing me down.

However, it gets a little more interesting when Mrs. Watson decides to let us choose who we want our lab partners to be for the year. Immediately, I walk over to where Bianca is sitting, but I'm stopped by a group of tall guys.

"So, you just moved here, huh?" one of them ask me. I nod. "Well, you should try out for the football team. You seem like the kind of guy who likes sports," he suggests.

"When are the tryouts?" I ask. Since I am into sports, and I love football in particular, I definitely wanted to find out.

"Tryouts start next Wednesday," one of his friends responds.

"Okay, cool. I'll definitely be trying out," I tell them.

The third friend then asks me, "You wanna be my lab partner?" I think for a moment.

"Nah, I don't want to pull you away from your friends," I tell him. He sighs and walks away.

When I finally reach Bianca's table, she peers up at me, closing her notebook. From what I saw, it seemed like she was doodling. "Hey," I say.

"Hi," she replies quietly.

"You wanna be my lab partner?" I ask her. She nods. I smile.

"So, you're athletic?" she asks me, breaking the silence.

I sit next to her and say, "Yeah."

"Well, I'd leave right now if you want to have that in common with your lab partner. Maybe pair up with that guy you dissed," she sighs. I look over at her and assure her that it doesn't matter to me. Sporty girls are usually the bitchiest, anyways. I know from experience.

"Well, knock yourself out, then," she replies. She opens her notebook and continues to sketch on her science work. She seems to be drawing some kind of mythical animal. I watch her draw for a minute or so, but then our teacher asks us to go back to our original seats. So, I abide by her order and sit back down next to Mr. Asshat.

To my left, another guy gets my attention by elbowing me in my side. "Dude, why'd you pair up with Bianca?" he whispers. He's the same one that asked me about just moving here and tryouts.

"Because," I respond, slightly irked by his question.

"She's a nobody, bro. People are gonna think you're a nobody, too, if you hang out with her," he whispers back.

"I don't give a shit," I huff.

For the rest of class, I was fuming and I could barely focus on anything.

***

Knowing that Bianca's also in the same lunch wave as mine, I look around for her. Luckily, I found her fairly quickly, sitting with a small group of friends in a corner. I almost brought myself to approaching them, but before I got the opportunity, one of the guys from my science class that were discussing football with me earlier invites me to sit at their table. I hesitantly agree to.

He introduces me to everyone and gives me a place to sit. I do my best to not be awkward, despite the fact that I don't even want to be sitting with them. Something about them bothers me, but I'm not really sure why.

I drop my things at the end of the table after some of the guys skootch over to make some room. Then I proceeded to buy food for myself. When I come back and sit down, I notice Bianca looking over at me from her table. She looks a little sad when she sees me over here, making me feel like trash. Despite that, I didn't want to leave my table in fear that these douches will make fun of me. I can't afford to have another school life taken over by panic attacks.

I suffer through lunch, anxiously wanting to talk to Bianca. When the period comes to an end and we go to exit the cafeteria, I power walk to catch up to Bianca, but she pushes through the crowd to get away from me and goes the opposite direction.

My heart breaks a little. Dammit, Ben, I think to myself. I already fucked things up between us. What the hell is wrong with me?

Since Bianca wasn't in any more of my classes until tomorrow, I found myself zoning out so much in English and History that I had to find out what the homework was from some random people. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about how I made Bianca feel like shit. I also couldn't stop kicking myself for not sitting with her, and also for not getting her number so I could call or text her to apologize.

Good job, asshole. You got another person to think you're a total loser.

When my study hall came to an end, I went towards the left side of the school to see if I could find Bianca sitting where she usually waits for her dad to pick her up, but she was nowhere to be found. She's probably avoiding me now. Fuck.

I sadly walk outside and decide to just go home instead of waiting for her to show up. Once I was home, I did actually somehow finish my homework, but I didn't do a wonderful job considering how much my mind was racing. I even had trouble getting to bed.

I need her to forgive me.