In My Eyes

Chapter Eight

Ben

As much as the football guys are pieces of shit most of the time, I must admit that I've taken a liking to all the afternoon practices. Some people do stuff like read or do yoga to calm themselves down after a long day, but I find football practice to be very soothing in its own right. Weird, huh?

Today was more soothing than usual for me. When we do our warm ups, I like to free my mind a little. It's my time to think about Bianca. As I'm stretching, I think about her pretty dress at the movies, or how cute she was when she ate that popcorn. I think of all the conversations we've had, and I think of listening to the music she's suggested to me. These thoughts motivate me to push harder, make sure I'm all ready for the practice ahead of me.

Once I'm out on the field, I feel as though I can do anything. I run faster than I'm usually able to, and I throw harder and swifter than most expect me to muster. The coach cheers me on numerous times, and I smile at the thought that the girl I had a crush on was the reason for my success.

The whole practice was amazing. I barely felt tired at the end of it, even though my body disagreed. My mind was freed, and I felt as though I was on the top of the world.

All of the guys headed back up the hill to the locker room. Then, we all start rinsing off and getting changed back into our regular clothes. As I pick through my bag for the clothes I want to change into, however, I sense someone next to me.

"Dude, we have to talk," Mark, one of the guys I know pretty well, says to me to get my attention. I turn to face him and furrow my eyebrows.

"What?"

"It's about Bianca," he says. My heart stops.

"Really?"

"Ben, you've gotta stay away from her. She's fucked up," he warns me. My heart pounds, a bit anxious, a bit angry.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, a little irritated.

"Total psycho. There's something seriously wrong with her family, and her too. I don't want you to die, man," he continues. My stomach turns.

"But... she seems fine to me," I frown.

"Just keep away from her. You've gotten way too close to her, man. Be careful."

As soon as we have this conversation, my day goes to shit.

There's something wrong with her?

***

After I drove home from practice and greeted my mom, I headed into my room. But instead of getting started on homework or texting Bianca like I normally do, I just sit down on my bed, dumbfounded. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Mark's words, after all.

"Total psycho. There's something seriously wrong with her family, and her too."

I found myself wanting to desperately asking Bianca about it, but at the same time, I was too afraid to. What if he was telling the truth? I mean, she seemed normal, but what if she has bad intentions or something so wrong with her psychologically that she wants to murder me?

Ben, she invited you to the movies not that long ago and you had a really, really good time with her. And she motivated you to no end at practice. Do you really believe that blockhead over her?

My thoughts combatted one another, and pretty soon, I had no idea what to think. One thing I did know was that I needed a straight answer from her. Nobody else, just her.

But then, a worry arises again. I mean, what if I ask her to talk with me alone and she takes me to a back alley to stab me? Is she actually capable of doing that? Is that why everyone is repulsed by her? All this time, I had no idea. What if I've been hanging out with a girl who's committed crimes that I had no idea about?

I calm myself down a bit and try to convince myself that everything will be okay. I think back to all the times we've spent together, and I can't think of a single thing, aside from people avoiding her and my conversation with Mark, that's a red flag of her insanity. She's more normal than most people I've met, quite honestly. Deep down, I know there's nothing wrong with her, but the doubts in my head always yell back when I try to disagree with them.

As the afternoon continues, I quell most of my negative thoughts that fueled the flames of my anxiety, and I make the decision to confront Bianca about the situation tomorrow, face to face, from her only.

I try to do as much homework as I can before dinner, and finish it afterwards. I hate doing schoolwork, but it's better than obsessing over this issue even more. So, I trudge on, attempting to the best of my abilities to get my mind off of my battling thoughts.

Finally, once I finish, I make the decision to confront her.

"Hey, Bianca? Can we talk about something after school tomorrow?" I text.

After a few minutes, she replies. "Sure. Where do you want to meet?"

"We can chat by that tree on the top of the hill leading to the sports fields."

"Alright, sounds good."

I sigh. I hope nothing's wrong. I like her too much.