𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄! ( s.cb + l.f )

03| ashes

Changbin wasn't necessarily angry. No, if anything, he was frustrated. Nobody had ever seen him be weak. He'd never allowed anyone to see it. He left the hideout so that nobody would see it, only to be caught on his hands and knees by his new partner. That made his head spin, because now, the taller boy obviously thought that he was weak. Didn't he? Changbin didn't think it was even a question that that needed to be asked. He knew that Felix thought of him as someone that was useless, pathetic, and weak; and he was so incredibly frustrated, because he couldn't deny that he was weak. He felt it, in every sense of the word, so how could he blame Felix for thinking the same? Changbin hadn't felt true emotions in a long while, so the rush of them that were flooding every vein in his body made him feel afraid. He'd always believed that it was much better to shut himself down, because you can't hurt the feelings that you don't have. Feeling everything at once the way that he was reminded him of all those years he spent feeling nothing but loneliness, despair, and constant sadness. He felt like he was back there yet again, and the feelings weren't something he was happy to experience.

His fingers unconsciously traced the fading scars that lined his arms. Due to those fading white lines, he constantly felt like a monster. It was hard for the raven haired boy to even look at his own reflection in the mirror. Those horrid marks were everywhere, not just his arms, and Changbin would never be able to escape them. They were a constant reminder of the past. The same past that ate away at Changbin's soul like a famished mouse, gnawing on whatever shreds of happiness he had left within him; if there was any at all. On the off chance that there was, he didn't figure that they'd be there for much longer. It wasn't as if he needed them anyway, though. Tugging down the sleeves of his shirt again, he pulled the blanket over his entire body, curling into a ball as he closed his eyes and attempted to fall asleep before he fell apart.

Out in the living room with the other members, Felix was laughing along with them. But, somehow, he didn't feel quite right about what had happened before. It scared him in a way. He'd never seen someone look so...Hopeless. He was well aware of the fact that Changbin clearly didn't want his help, but still, Felix couldn't help but to wonder about the shorter boy. He wondered why his eyes looked so completely and utterly lifeless, or why his hands were shaking wildly; even when he was yelling.

"So," Chan said, turning his gaze towards Felix, "when do you start your training?"

Felix tried to remember what Red had told him about that. She'd given him a long speech about a bunch of things, but not very many of them actually stuck. He was a little too focused on coming to terms with his powers, which was obviously no easy task. Even as he sat there, surrounded by others that were just like him, he found himself wondering when he was going to wake up in his own bed, the smell of freshly cooked bacon filling the house as his mother cooked a large weekend breakfast for the family downstairs.

"I think later today," Felix replied.

The Australian couldn't quite understand what the training was for. So, he decided to ask Seungmin. After all, the redhead would obviously have the answers he was looking for.

"So, what's the training for anyway?" He inquired.

"Just like an athlete has to constantly train in order to keep their skills and health at all time highs; we have to train in order to perfect our skills and better understand them," the redhead replied quickly.

"Do you all train too?"

The seven all boys all nodded their heads. Felix had just kind of wrongly assumed that he was the only one that had to do any sort of training because he was the newest member and he didn't have a clue how to really use his power.

"We'll always have to train. If we don't, things could go terribly wrong," Woojin commented.

Instantly picking up on the fact that Woojin's comment had confused Felix, Seungmin stepped in to clarify things.