𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄! ( s.cb + l.f )

18| matchbox

"What happens now?" Changbin questioned nervously as his gaze drifted to the young boy's face.

His eyes were closed, and the raven haired boy would have thought him to be dead if it weren't for the shallow rise and fall of his chest as his rugged breathing became level again.

"We wait," Seungmin replied gravely.

"That's all we can do."

The redhead exited the room, figuring that Changbin wanted to be alone with Felix for the time being. The raven haired boy was at a dead end as far as he could tell. Felix's chances of living were slim to none; and Seungmin had said that himself. The only chance that the Australian had at living was if the Lykyde hadn't seeped into his bloodstream. However, when Seungmin removed the chip, it was clear that it had split open, because the redhead had to pluck it out in three separate pieces. There was no way to tell if he was going to live or die until it happened. It was a guessing game; even to someone as brilliant as Seungmin.

Changbin slid under the covers, gently cradling Felix's head in his arms. The tears just wouldn't stop, and he felt completely and utterly hopeless. It was then that he realized he'd missed the chance to do and say so many things. The raven haired boy breathed in deeply, letting the younger boy's scent fill up each and every one of his senses.

"You messed me up, Felix," he whispered, holding the Australian closer and he spoke aloud.

He didn't know if Felix could hear his words or feel his touches, but he was going to say his peace either way. He was just praying that his words reached the younger boy's ears.

"I thought that I would always be alone. And I was okay with that. The thought of wasting away without anyone to really care for me was normal. I didn't need to dwell on anyone but myself. Until I met you, I didn't know what it was like to have anyone care for me. But you did. I tried so hard to push you away so that I wouldn't become attached to you. I knew something like this would happen...I just knew it. One way or another, you were going to be taken from me, and even though I knew it would happen, I let myself get close to you. And I'm sorry."

Changbin sniffled once more.

"I'm dangerous. I wanted to tell you earlier this morning, but...But then Crimson Vector ambushed us, and I just...I never got the chance. And, I'm not sure if you can hear me or not, but I'll just hope that you can. Because I really did want you to know about all of this. I wanted to tell you everything."

Changbin had to pause for a moment or so in order to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts.

"I thought about telling you after you saved me that day, but I just thought that if you knew I came from them, the people that tried to kill you, that you'd hate me. It was selfish of me to hide the truth from you in order to keep you close to me, but I was scared of you hating me and thinking of me as a monster. I just wanted things to stay the same. But, even though I didn't tell you everything right away, things didn't stay the same. Everything started changing really quickly. Hyunjin got injured, Seungmin kept asking a bunch of weird questions...Relationships got strained and put to the test; but I just wanted us to stay friends."

Changbin really, really hoped that the younger boy could hear him.

"I really did plan on telling you. Things just didn't go right. But you asked me questions on the roof, and I just wish that I would have given you a clear answer instead of telling you that things were complicated. And they are complicated. They'll always be complicated. But I thought that I'd have the time to explain things properly once Osiris retreated, and I never thought that things would end up this way. I knew that something bad would happen, but I didn't think things would take such a drastic turn that quickly. I thought I'd have time to explain things. I didn't think I'd be losing you...At least, not like this."