Out of all the guys, I had to choose him(Philip Hamilton x Reader)

Chapter 30

(Grab y'alls tissues! It's gonna be a sad one!)
(Woah, this is gospel, by panic! At the disco came on as I am writing and thinking what's coming, you'll see)

July 12, 1804

-Philip's POV-
(Y/N), John, and I were rushing to the house. We heard something happened to my father. God I hope he's okay.
We finally got there and came into the room, there we saw him lying on the bed, with ma next to him, sobbing.
Tears started to fall down my face, "Pops, what happened?"
I came up to him and saw the wound, I gasped and put my hand over my mouth.
Pops didn't say anything, he just layer there, still breathing, but dying too.
(Y/N) walked over and saw pops. She also started to cry.
John didn't really know what was going on. He was in (Y/N)'s arms and looked at pops.
"Poppy ham ham?" (Yes lil John calls him poppy ham ham)
All Pops did was smile, then close his eyes.
I feel on my knees and lied my head down on the bed, clenched my fist and started to cry.
Ma was crying to, she was holding his hand and let out a painful sad scream, and laid her head in his chest.
(Y/N) rested her hand on my back, to comfort me, it didn't help much, I was too upset.
I heard (Y/N) sniffle a bit. Aunt Angelica was there too, holding his other hand, crying too. My other family members cried to.
I looked back at (Y/N) to see how she was doing, she was crying too, it seemed like a tsunami. I noticed that John was reaching towards Pops. I nodded to (Y/N) to set John next to Pops.
John started to touch his arm, like he was trying to wake him up.
"Poppy ham ham? Wake wake?"
He was trying to wake him up.
"John sweetie, I'm sorry, he's not waking up." (Y/N) took John away from Pops.
"He's g-gone. Forever." I sobbed.
"I'm sorry Hamilton's, and Angelica. I'm sorry for your loss." After she apologized, (Y/N) looked at the ground.

-A few days after the loss of Alexander Hamilton-

For the past few days, all I did was play sad songs on the piano, I also didn't eat or drink much, or sleep.
I was miserable. I just sat there pressing the keys, with tears falling onto them often.
-(Y/N) POV-
Philip has been absolutely miserable for the past few days, he's never acted this upset before. I was really worried, he didn't eat, drink, sleep. All he does anymore is play depressing songs on the piano.
"Pip pip?" (John calls his dad pip pip, why not?)
"I'm sorry Johnny, pip pip is busy right now."
John started to cry, "pip *sniff* pip."
"I know sweetie, let's go see if we can talk to him."
John nods, I pick him up and head to the room the piano is in.
I knock on the door, "Philip?"
No answer, I knock again, still no answer.
I decide to walk in, and there he is, playing the piano. His hair was covering his face, so we both couldn't see it, me and John of course.
"Pip pip!"
Still no answer.
I sit down next to Philip and set John onto my lap.
As he played, I joined in.
I looked at him as I played a few notes, with my one hand, since I was using my other hand to hold John so he can't fall.
"You missed a note." I heard Philip mumble.
"Oh sorry dear."
"It's fine." He mumbles
"Pip pip!" John reached for Philip but kinda fell forward onto his arm, "Oof." John said as his face was on Philip's arm.
"Sorry." I pulled John back. And looked down at the keys as Philip played.
He stopped playing and looked at me. I was still looking at the keys, staying quiet, tears started to form.
John was also silent. Everything and everyone was silent.
"I-I'm so sorry Philip."
"Why are you sorry?" His voice was a little raspy.
"Your father, I'm so sorry that he had to die. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. My mom died when I was young so I didn't know her as much as you knew your father. I'm so sorry Philip that you feel like this."
He rested his hand on mine, "hey, it's not your fault, I should be the sorry one. I kept ignoring you guys even though you could've helped me through it."
He also started to cry. "Pip pip? Moo moo? (Philip calls you moo moo because you two were practicing animal sounds, the cow was his favorite one to say, and now he calls you moo moo) we smiled at John.
"Moo moo?"
"He calls me that, you were in here at the time, I was trying to make him feel better so we practiced animal sounds. He missed you. I missed you." I smiled at Philip.
"I missed you too, I'm sorry that I stayed away for a while, I was just"
I cut him off, "upset. I know. It's okay I understand, my mother died and I distanced myself for a while, that's why I gave you time to be alone. And I hoped you would come to us."
He nodded, "Well I'm ready to talk about it."
"I'm listening, John will try too."
We both chuckled. 
"I know he wasn't there a lot, but I still loved my father. He was there when I needed him the most, and he did love and care for me, even though he didn't always show it. I knew it though, he was just busy, and never really came out, besides when you were there or some other times. But now he's gone, forever. And I'm never going to see him again."
"I understand what you're feeling, my father wasn't around much, and my mother did die, but he will always be with you in here." I put my hand on his chest, where his heart would be. He put his hand over mine and smiled at me. Thank you (Y/N), I love you."
"I love you too I Philip." We both leaned in and shared a shot passionate kiss. After we split I told him, "everything will be okay." He nodded, "Everything will be okay, as long as I still have you two."