Late Night Thoughts

July 12, 2014 - Stars

July 12, 2014 - 1:50 am

You're on my mind. Still. I've been trying to cast you away like the demons in my soul, but you never seem to run and hide when daylight comes around. You're always there, in the front  and back of my mind. I'm constantly thinking and wondering and hoping when i'm going to run into you again, but I don't have to look far. In my mind, I can't move an inch without bumping into some part of you. 

You're my drug. I look forward to you everyday. I can't ever get enough. I'll just keep abusing you and your need to make me happy until I kill myself with the selfish addiction to you. 

But, in a way, I think i'm okay with that. 

I've thought about killing myself many, many times before. But i've never thought about another soul killing me before I got the chance to do it myself. 

Not killing me with a gun or other weapon of force, no, this is much more brutal and unforgiving. 

Killing me with the thought of you. 

Everywhere I turn, I see you. You, You, You, You, You, You. That's all there ever was and that's all there ever will be. I can't get enough. Never ever will I be able to stop craving you. 

You may forget about me in the future, but I will never ever ever stop thinking about you. And if one day, you do leave me, I hope you read this somehow. I hope you change your mind, because I will forever take you in with loving arms. I truly will. I am a forgiving person, and I won't let you forget that. 

If there really is a God, when he made you, he put the stars in your eyes, and they thanked him. They liked this new body, for he was good and pure in every single possible way. God summoned his angels to take you down to Earth and to grant some very few people with the words from your soul. And they are beautiful just like the stars in your eyes. 

And it just so happens, I love the stars.