Moon and Stars

Chapter 11

Andalus's POV

Please Andalus, please don't cry. Show your mother that you are capable of handling it. Show your mother that you'll never break down. Don't cry in front of her, you will make her even depressed. Ya Allah give me courage and strength to handle this sickness.

Allah loves you and he is testing your Sabr (Patience). You should be proud.

I told myself while I was staring at my mother's hands holding mine so gently.

" But ... who told you that? " I asked my mother, desperately. " who told you that I have ... blood cancer? " I continued.

These two words felt like fire, burning my mouth.

" Iman told me that. She told me when Rayan took you to the hospital the day I was in Algeria." my mother said making me feel guilty.

" My grandmother was sick back then and I didn't want to bother you with what had happened to me. " I said quitely.

" You should've told me. " my mother confirmed.

" I am sorry. I'm going to my bedroom. " I said stammering.

" I am here if you need anything, my dear. " my mother said with a smile.

I nodded.

Before I walked upstairs I went to the bathroom and performed ablution to pray Isha.

" O Allah, I hope for your mercy. Don't leave me. O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur'aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety"

" O Allah, I hope for Your mercy. Do not leave me to myself even for the blinking of an eye (i.e. a moment). Correct all of my affairs for me. There is none worthy of worship but You."

I finished praying Isha with tears. I wondered if they were tears of happiness or sadness. Probably of happiness because Allah loves me? Or probably of sadness because I have cancer or probably because I might die? Leaving my family in a dreadful emptiness.

Yeah you heard me ... I know that they can't live without me.

I gazed at the window, wondering, wishing, dreaming.

I wish I was a night star. Far away from people, shining every night, guiding the lost ones, beautifying the night sky, bringing light to the darkness, and dancing with the moon.

Yes ... The stars do dance with the moon. It is just you don't see them, people. Because you don't appreciate the beauty of this world and by the way, they dance better than all of you, humans.

" Andalus why are you crying? " Youssef asked with fear interrupting my thoughts while entering my bedroom without any permission, as usual.

" It is nothing, I am just having a bad headache as always. " I said with a frown, gazing at the window.

" Headaches don't make people cry. " he said walking towards me " but cancers do. " he continued, sitting next to me.

Oh no.

I stared at his innocent face, smiling.

" I've heard mom talking about it with my dad and since then It has been a nightmare for me. " he said with a voice that was full of shock and sympathy.