Where Snapdragons Lie

A Bit of Recovery

My palms were so sweaty and gross. The onrush of people trampling me felt horrible. I could hear Rae screaming for help in the distance. My every waking fiber shook like leaves in the wind. I mustered the courage to get up and run against the crowd. All of whom screaming or calling for violent action. I managed to get to Rae, but it was too late. The thick red and black veins spread entirely across her face and body. She couldn't move, and she was barely breathing. Her eyes lifelessly losing their color. I felt the hot tears run down my face. I have never failed anyone before. Its not fair. Not fair to Rae, or to her family, or to anyone.

The initial haze of anesthesia was all just a blur. But supposedly I spent a majority of it reciting something along the lines of, "Its not fair" or "Red and Black" and so on. But it passed and soon became mindless rambling. I only know all this because Liz and Rhys took a video of said mindless rambling. Liz also says that it will get millions of views on VizMe. Its was just me complaining about being dizzy. Then, supposedly, I sang the best possible rendition of "Itsy-bitsy spider" but instead it was "Itsy-bitsy Madga". I didn't believe until they actually showed me the video. I laughed so hard I thought I would cry. But if she posts that on VizMe, there will be a price to pay.   The recovery ward kind of sucks. I know all the nurses in the infusion ward, and they take great care of me. But the nurses here, I do not know. They change everyday and every night. But I will admit, they do their job well. I'm taking their lack of attention a sign as that I'm no longer in serious need. I've slowly regained most of the motion in my shoulder since the surgery. Liz would often visit with my I-pad so I could use the Piano app. We would occasionally host a duet in the sun-room sometimes. It brightened everyone day. 

Aunt Belle stopped by every evening with a bowl of soup from Panera. Which was a step up from all the hospital food in my opinion. Mom even took time off to fly in from Great Lake View. I told her not to worry herself, and that I was fine. But she just responded, "In your dreams sweetie." She got on the next flight out and showered me with home made sausage from uncle Max's butcher shop and her famous Spaghettieis witch she somehow made in her hotel kitchen. That woman never ceases to amaze me. Everyone was great, and with help of a shit ton of infusions the Doctors told me I'd make a full recovery. Hallelujah.  

Delilah even managed to squeeze in a visit after my first three days of recovery. But when she arrived she was in uniform. Her badge bulging out of her pant pocket. Not a casual visit. Damn I was hoping to catch up on some nice gossip. She pulled up a chair right beside me.

"Please make yourself at home," I sarcastically commented. 

"Thanks, I will," She laughed, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Remember Rae, from City Creek?"

"Yes, very well. Why? Is she okay?"

Delilah looked at the ground, strands of hair escaped from her top bun. My heart sank a little bit. I could feel a little lump in my throat. Poor kid. 

"So Rae is officially on breathing support. Her body is at about 65% paralyzed. No antibodies have worked so far and shes about halfway down the list." I sank back into my bed and stare at the ceiling. "There's more. The doctors are telling me that the strand of the Blight inside of Rae is different than that of the initial outbreak. Different than what we have Madga. Its more aggressive and less responsive to medication." 

The was a numbness that took over me. Delilahs lips were moving but there was no sound that came out of it. It felt like having the life sucked out of you for a moment. I don't know what my face looked like, but I had a hint it was a mix between sheer exacerbation and exhaustion. I don't know what is worse. The fact that an innocent child was dying, or that she was about to be a victim of a threat we don't know how to deal with. OR that the Blight apparently now has changed. My head was spinning. This was too much info to take in at once.  I'm not a doctor, but this is bad. I got out from my bed, my shoulder only slightly sore when I got up. Delilah stopped me at the wooden door to my room. Her hands were burning hot as she held onto my wrists.