the abyss yet again is trying to drag my under,
it's pulling at my clothes and it's dragging me under the wave of fear.
it's squeezing every last breath out of my lungs and I can no longer withstand the pain.
I've always thought about how to say goodbye,
how would I do it?
and I'm coming to realise that I wouldn't,
I don't want people to remember me with a goodbye but a shitty wattpad poem instead.
that'll do.
ive always told myself that I was strong enough to fight back the wave,
but I can't,
I can't keep it away any longer.
the abyss pulls my strings now,
I'm not in control.
I no longer make eye contact down the bustling halls of school,
and I can't stop being a weirdo.
I realise it more now.
people hate me and they pretend to like me because they feel bad or they can't just tell me to fuck off.
instead they make me feel like a mug.
but I have no where else to go.
i love them, but they don't love me.
dramatic right?
but I can't help thinking like I do,
my mind is a scribble,
with no order,
or simple-ness.
-
the wave used to be gentle and soft but now it's raging and it's going to take a victim,
and that's me.
it plays a game with me,
almost teasing me saying that it knows it'll win but first it'll make me think I'm winning.
but maybe I should just give in,
let the abyss win,
say goodbye,
tell them I've had enough,
and let go.
let it win,
let it take victory,
give in.
say goodbye.
