《21》Tony Starts a Salad Hat Fashion Trend

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(Song: Daughter of the Moon - Adriana Figueroa)

Tia's POV

"WOAH!"

I gripped the edge of the smooth ledge tightly, panic flooding my stomach like an icy waterfall. Far below me, the landscape of New York City stretched out. I could glimpse street lights beginning to flicker on as the sun inched closer to the horizon. If I wasn't dangling from the tip of Stark Tower and freaking out, I would've probably admired the view.

I really need to work on judging where I land after flame teleporting...! A couple centimetres more, and I'd probably be a goner!

Grunting with the effort, I dragged myself up onto the ledge. My arms trembled, adrenaline still zooming around my bloodstream; probably screaming 'WTF' at my pathetic aiming skills. I lay face-down on the (what I now recognised as a) landing platform, furiously muttering every cuss word I'd ever heard of- including several that I made up, like 'frickleturd'. Behold my brilliance.

Somewhere off to my left, a mechanic whirring noise sounded, followed by the unmistakable 'tap-tap' of footsteps. I half raised my hand, waving randomly in what I hope was the right direction (as I hadn't bothered to lift my face off the landing pad yet).

The footsteps stopped close to my head.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tony's voice demanded irritably.

"Um, not falling off the tower to my painful death?" I said.

"Why are you even out here? This is a plane landing platform!" He continued, "Plus, it's nearly 5 pm! What happened to 'I'll be home by 4:30'?!"

I rolled over. I feel like a roll of sushi.

"I lost track of the time!" I protested, "I was-"

"'At a friend's house'?" Tony finished bluntly.

"Yep."

"Reeeally."

"Yep."

I mean, technically I wasn't lying...! Shuri is a friend. And I went to her 'house'.

He held my gaze, then spun on the spot, "Fine. Just come inside. I know for a fact that you have a Biology report to start."

Dammit.

Tony strode purposefully back towards the open door he had come from, "And we're having Caesar Salad tonight. I found an old cook book. Hopefully I won't accidentally poison us."

I scrambled to my feet, still feeling a little wobbly from my recent adrenaline rush. Luckily, I hadn't dropped my bag with my close call. That would have been awkward. I could just imagine some random civilian having a nice night out and suddenly a random backpack cannonballs out of the sky onto their heads. Yep, that would have been bad.

The door slid shut automatically as I crossed the thresh hold with a soft 'click'. As I hurried towards the hallway where my room was situated, I glanced over at the kitchen bench. Tony had retired to stand behind the bench, frowning at all the ingredients he had already spread out across the surface.

"If it helps, you put the food in the bowls...!" I called, peering out from around the hall corner.

"Just do your homework!" He retorted, almost cracking a smile and flapping his hand at me. I grinned and slipped into my room. It was just as I'd left it. Messy. Flopping down on my bed, I pulled first my science workbook from my bag, then my pencil case, phone and earphones.

Wasting no time, I plugged the earphones in and opened up my Music folder. It was still in the middle of the Hamilton playlist from when I had been dancing like an idiot in lunch at school. And I wonder why no one talks to me.

The soft melody of 'That Would Be Enough' started thrumming through the earphones. As I flipped through the pages of my workbook, I began to quietly sing along to the lyrics, twirling my pencil around my fingers.

"I knew you'd fight until the war was won... But you deserve a change to meet your son..." I sang to myself, the music pulsing through my earphones.

"WHAT THE WHAT NOW?!"

There was a loud clattering noise, followed by Tony barging into my room barely a second later, a lettuce leaf draped over his head like a hat. Should I be worried about how things are going out there?

"Oh, is this a new fashion statement you're trying?" I asked mildly, pointing at the lettuce leaf with the tip of my pencil.

"What did you mean by 'son'?! Are you pregnant?! You're sixteen! What the hell!" He ranted, completely disregarding his fabulous lettuce leaf beret.

"Huh?" For a moment, I was totally confused.

"You were saying something about-"

"OH! No, no! It's just a song from a musical! I was just singing along to the lyrics!" I burst out laughing at the look on his face, "How'd you even hear me? I was singing pretty quietly!"

He scowled and slouched away, presumably back to the kitchen. I privately hoped that more vegetables wouldn't somehow end up on Tony's head. Smirking, I diverted my attention back to my assignment. I have literally no idea what any of this means. What the hell is a 'nephron'.

I sat in silence for several minutes, staring at my page in frustration. It took me a moment to realise that the song had ended, so I turned the volume up a little as the next song started. I waited for the opening verse to end, bobbing my head along to the beat. Then, finally...

Oh, heck yes...!

"NOW GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S FAVOURITE FIGHTING FRECHMAN! LAFAYETTE! I'M TAKING THIS HORSE BY REIGNS, MAKING REDCOATS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS!" I screeched eagerly along to the fast-paced rapping, "AND I'M NEVER GONNA STOP TILL I MAKE 'EM DROP OR BURN 'EM UP AND SCATTER THEIR REMAINS!"

"WHAT THE FU-?!" Tony yelled in response from the kitchen.

"RELAX, DAD. IT'S ANOTHER SONG!"

"DON'T CALL ME 'DAD'."

Hahaha, he sounds like Hamilton when he was arguing with Washington in 'Meet Me Inside', BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I should stop making random references...

But I won't.

Deal with it.

Cue the 'Thug Life' music and dark shades.

Now where's my Dear Evan Hansen playlist?



A/N: 
Me, whenever anyone says my plot sucks: Well, someone made money off sharks in tornadoes, so I think I'm doing pretty good. \(.-.)/

nah really this chapter morphed into just random garbage

:)


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