together [lashton] ✔

ten - 'battle scars'

song for the chapter - battle scars by lupe fiasco

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a knock at the door makes ashton freeze in his spot. he had been crying all night, not getting a bit of sleep. he had been worrying about everything all night, and now, as james walked into his room and told him he was wanted in the office, he knew that in the next twenty minutes his worrying would be given a true answer.

ashton walked past luke's room, letting his hand rest on it as he always did when he walked past. he didn't remember when he started doing it, but it's something he's done for a long while. he paused in front of the office's door, knowing that as soon as he walked in, his or luke's future might be altered.

mr. grazyc was sitting in his chair, bringing back old memories of all the times when ashton would get in trouble when he was younger. this time, though, he was smiling up at ashton. he motioned for ashton to sit in the chair across from him. ashton sat slowly, somehow already feeling tears building in his eyes. he was so nervous for what might happen next.

'you're getting adopted!' ashton's world slowed down very quickly as the words he had been dreading came at him. as much as he wanted to be part of a new family and be loved as a son, he didn't want to be adopted without luke. he loved luke, a lot. and the mere fact of losing him brought tears to his eyes. he stood up quickly and shook his head, not even believing the words coming out of his mouth.

'no-no i, why? i don't get it. why now. i'm already fifteen. who the hell wants a fifteen year old?' mr. grazyc sent him a warning look for 'swearing' but proceeded with 'because some people don't want to have to deal with babies, they are coming back in two days to get you. you'll be moving schools, also. the commute is too much, or so they told me' ashton stormed out of the room, tears falling from his face as he whipped open his door and saw luke sitting on his bed.

'i came in here and you weren't - are you okay?'

'please just leave, luke. i want to be alone' ashton didn't want to get mad at the boy, none of this had anything to do with luke. but he couldn't help getting aggravated when luke couldn't take the hint to just fucking leave. luke sat closer to ashton and tried to comfort him, but ashton was having it.

'please luke! i just need twenty fucking seconds!' luke jumped and quickly walked out of the room, slamming ashton's door behind him. it was followed by a second slam, luke's door, and a shout from someone to stop slamming the doors.

ashton felt bad; luke didn't deserve to be yelled at. ashton screamed loudly before lying in his bed and sobbing for so long without ceasing. why was he such as asshole. all luke wanted was to be with ashton and he completely blew him off. he might not even see luke anymore after he leaves the home. he felt himself starting to have a panic attack, and everything in the room was getting fuzzy and dark. he fell to the floor and sat with his head in his hands.

'fi-five things to see-see. pen-pencil, desk, be-bed, car-carpet and calend-dar, four thing-things to t-touch. hair, flo-or, hands, blanket. three things t-to hear. kids talking, clock, car outside,' at this point, ashton was starting to calm down, but he was focusing more on this, 'two things to smell. candle and axe from luke. one thing to taste.' ashton walked slowly over to his desk and pulled out a piece of gum and popped it into his mouth. any time he did this, he always used gum as his last one, it was easy.

he was really sleepy and was actually contemplated just passing out on the floor right by his desk, but he finally got the energy to get up and spit the gum from his mouth before flopping on his bed and crying himself to sleep