together [lashton] ✔

fourteen - 'one more light'

 song for the chapter - one more light by linkin park (r.i.p chester bennington)

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luke hasn't stopped crying. he thought by now that the tears would have dried up and his tear ducts would be empty but no, just as he thought he was done a fresh set of tears found there way down his red and puffy cheeks. everything was overwhelming for his little soul. usually, when he felt this way, he would sit with ashton and they would talk it out, but right now ashton was the reason he was so sad and ashton wasn't there to help him. ashton was out with a new family. the family he neglected to tell luke about. 

he hadn't left his room in days, he hasn't wanted to. he feels like lying in bed and sobbing because he has nothing else to do. he's refused to eat, and even though he was practically starving, he couldn't bring himself to eat. nothing felt right, oddly. it was as if the color from the room dimmed and everything was duller than before. the once bright blankets he and shared with ashton were a gray color and he threw them to the floor, along with everything else that was in his room.

he was always known as the organized kid in the home, but judging by the look of his room, that was out the window. there were broken things everywhere and all his clothes were scattered around on the floor from one of his breakdowns. luke hadn't had breakdowns this bad since - well since the last time he got dropped back off after being adopted. after that last time, he was very neat and never left his room a mess.

he felt like this was strange. that everything in life was so pointless. god, his world had no meaning without ashton and he has no shame in saying that. ashton was a happy little boy who made his world a little brighter. he remembers the day he first met ashton. the boy was trembling but james showed him his room and the boy started putting things away slowly, his little body racking in silent sobs.

'are-are you okay?' eight-year-old luke asked as he watched the boy put away some notebooks. the boy jumped and turned, seeing a blonde boy staring back at him. he shook his head, not wanting to talk to anyone. he wasn't in the mood to talk. luke walked up to him and noticed he had tears falling from his eyes. luke passed him a tissue and sat on his bed.

'i-i'm luke' luke smiled lightly and saw the boy relax. he wiped the tears from his eyes before looking at luke intensely. 'i'm ashton'

luke remembered the hours they spent talking about their lives before the orphanage, how ashton would always go on lengthy vacations with his family or how luke would sing with his mum at night before he went to bed. it usually ended with one of them crying and the other one trying to comfort the best way an eight-year-old could. luke couldn't even count the nights they just sat in each others presence, not saying a word. just, existing.

luke missed those nights. he would never feel them again. he would never be able to sit with ashton and tell him everything he was feeling. ashton would never again let luke sleep in his room because he was feeling too anxious to sleep alone. luke could never share a meal with ashton because luke didn't think he could finish it all. never again could luke and ashton sneak off to their rooms and kiss all night because they loved each other. never again.

luke hadn't really noticed he was sobbing until there was a knock at the door. luke screamed at them to go away, but the door burst open anyway and james walked in, along with two other workers. they stared at the room in disbelief before letting their eyes fall on luke again.

'you need to leave this room, go back to school. do something' james said, trying to sound calm and comforting but the people in charge of him were getting mad at how he was letting the kid sit in his room all day. james had enough of this and was ready to forcefully get luke out. luke wasn't having it and he screamed as both workers pried him out of bed. he wailed and kicked, wanting to be let down so bad.

'let-let me down. leave m-me al-alone!' luke was sobbing and his body was pretty weak, yet the workers let him down and he ran right back to his bed, where he bundled under the blankets and tried to make himself really small. he heard james sigh before leaving once again. he let himself fall asleep, letting all the worries, sadness, and thoughts of the day melt away while he dreamt.