No Homo ~BXB~ (Book 1)

(5) His suspicions

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NOLAN POV
_________

He's gay. He's fucking gay.
That's great.
That's amazing. So fucking amazing that my best friend is a fag.
And he consulted Heather Merrill, an even bigger fag, on whether he was or not. 

Calm down, Nolan

Calm down...

I know I shouldn't be angry, I should be supportive of him and not let this get between our friendship. But I can't help it, when I think about a man kissing another man I get so disgusted. I'm trying to fix that; don't get me wrong.
Because of what I did to Heather all those years ago..

Flashback.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Heather hisses. I smirk down at her.
"You heard me, faggot," I say, repeating the name without a morsel of regret.
Back in grade five, Heather wasn't that bad of a person. She was still defensive of course with all the shit in her life, but she was nowhere near as defensive as she is now. She was decent. These days, five years later, she has gotten worse. I guess that's just how shitty her life is. And I'm one of the reasons that she's so defensive today.
She glares at me. Her 4'3 stance nowhere near meeting my 5'11. Tall for a grade five I know.
"Don't think I didn't see that earlier. We all saw it.
" I smirk. I begin fake kissing at her.
"What the fuck are you doin kid? Having a seizure? Should I get a teacher?" She spits. I scowl and shove her into a wall.
"You know what you are Heather? You're a faggot, you're a fucking dyke, thinking you can kiss you're best friend without being noticed? That's gay Merrill!" I spit. She struggles under my grip angrily.
"Let me the fuck go Nolan. I didn't kiss anyone and I definitely wouldn't kiss Jade even if I was paid." She scowls...
"Denying it, are we? Well, you won't be able to deny it much longer when everyone knows.
I'll ruin you, Merrill. You're a faggot. Just admit it. You're a bastard child, clit licking, faggot."

And from that day on, the entire school picked on her. For four years after that and even now after I've told people the truth that she didn't ever kiss Jade, she still sometimes gets attacked in the halls.
I'll regret spreading that rumor for the rest if my highschool life.

___________

I growl and spread a hand through my blonde locks, not knowing how to handle this. I mean, it isn't confirmed yet. Evan said he was questioning..she said he might be Bi.
But..he admitted to Heather that he...
That he touched himself for me.
This isn't just 'no homo' for him anymore. That's just wrong...
I shared a bed with him, shirtless.
And cuddled with him, again shirtless might I add.
"Nolan? I'm back!" Evans' voice rang through my house as he walked in.
"I'm upstairs!" I call automatically out if habit.
"Fuck" I hiss. Why? Nolan you damn blonde.
His footsteps echoed as he came up the stairs.
Should I just ignore this and act normally or..should I question him?
"Hey man," He says. I nod.
He sits at my computer and spins in the chair.
After a good amount of time that we just stayed quiet, not looking at each other or making any noise, Evan spoke up.
"Hey.." He starts.
"Hm?" I hum.
"Has...has your opinion on gays changed at all?" He asks and I tense.
"No..not really. I'm trying to change though, why?" I ask. He shrugs.
"I dunno." He says simply but I can tell that he wants to say more.
"OK. How was your meet up with her." I ask, throwing a red lacrosse ball at the ceiling and catching it.
"Fine. It helped a bit." He says.
"Are you ready to tell your best friend yet?" I smirk sarcastically.
Though he doesn't need to...
"No. I don't know how you'll react..." He says.
I sigh.
"Whatever," I say and were thrown into another pit of silence, this time lasting five more minutes than before.
I here the computer turn on and my eyes, which were closed, shoot open.
I fly up, nearly tripping as I rush to the computer.
The computer opens to my last tab, which just so happened to be a porn page.
I turn the computer off quickly as moans erupt from the speakers and blush deeply.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Evan says, clearly holding in his laughter.
I snort and begin laughing as I lean over my desk. Evan begins laughing as well and his chair creeks as he leans back.
I glance at him, seeing the boy who I've been friends with through thick and thin, and now he's struggling with this.
I can't just leave him to deal with that alone, no matter how difficult it will be for me to deal with. It would kill me to ditch him like that. I need to help him. Just like he's helped me all these years.
He stops laughing and looks at me. I can see the stress in his Hazel eyes and it pains me.
Even though I know what's wrong, I can't help him because then he'd know I'd (unintentionally) overheard his conversation with Heather.
"Evan," I say.
He looks at me with a lazy smile.
"Hm?"
"...are you gay?" I ask. Take the risk Nolan, YOLO.
Evan freezes, his already pale face turning white as he stares at me in a state if panic.
I close the bedroom door to ensure that nobody else in the house, that being mason because mom went to work, hears anything.
"N-no homo." He replies shakily and I see the tears pricking his eyes.
"Evan. I'm here. I won't do anything, trust me. You're my best friend." I say, sitting on the end if my bed in front of him. He looks to the carpeted floor.
"You heard my conversation with Heather. Didn't you?" He whispers.
"Ev-"
"Didn't. You?" He demands.
I nod.
"I didn't mean to. I swear, I just wanted to get food and when u was walking I heard you talking and..I'm sorry.." I say.
"How much did you hear?" He asks quietly.
"Almost all of it."
"So you know the answer to that question already."  He says, still looking at the floor. A tear falls from his eye and I swallow.
"I'm sorry, Ev..." I say.
"It's not your fault." He says. "I..don't know what I am yet.." He says.
"Did you..really do what you said you did?" I ask.
He tenses up, visibly shaking. He looks up at me, slowly as tears seek from his eyes faster and faster.
He bites his lip and glances away, nodding once before he erupts from his chair and rushes down the stairs.
"Evan!" I call, following after him. By the time I get down the stairs, he's already halfway out the door forgetting his shoes. I run after him, diving after him and sending him into the grass. Grass stains smear his white shirt and he struggles under me, desperately trying to get away.
He sobs pitifully and I gather him into my arms. He instantly wraps his arms around me for comfort as I hold him tightly and allow him to cry. I don't care if he's gay or not, or if he's masturbated to my name, hell I don't even care if he does have feelings for me.
Evan is my best friend, and I'm gonna be there for him if it kills me.
I pull him up and pull him into the house, putting him on the couch and sitting on the floor in front of him.
"Go ahead. Call me names, spread rumors, beat the fuck out of me. I'm a fag Nolan, I know it. You know it, Heather knows it." He spits angrily and making me flinch.
"Evan."
"Hate me. Ditch me, do whatever you want I don't care anymore" he rambles
"Evan."
"I'm gay. Or maybe I'm bisexual, I don't know. But I do know that no matter how hard you try you-"
"EVAN" I yell fed up with his rambling.
"WHAT?!" He yells.
"I'm not leaving you. You've never left me. Why would I leave you? I don't care that you're gay, or whether or not you have feelings for me, I'm here for you. If you'll let me help you and be there for you. Let me help you" I say.
"No homo. But if you need to experiment, if you need my help I'm here no matter how much it upsets me"  I say.
Evan stares at me for a while, his eyes still wet and puffy from his breakdown.
"Thank you" he finally says. "And I'm sorry I jacked off to you" he says sarcastically making me chuckle.
"Its whatever." I say and he chuckles.
"Nolan, mom says she's transferring you money. She wants you guys to go have some fun and get out of the house." Masons voice says at the top of the stairs. I jump.
"Fuck that scared me." I whisper and Evan smirks.
"Thanks kid!" I respond. My phone vibrates and I look at the notification.

Maria Wyatt transferred 60$ to you're account.

ACCEPT?
DECLINE?

|Accept|

I look up at Evan and it seems he was thinking the same thing as me as we smile.
"You're thinking what I'm thinking?" I ask. He nods.
"Let's do it" he says.