Listen // Lams

Chapter 1

- Alexander -

A fresh start.

My whole life, I've dreamed of living in New York. Now, as I step off the next plane with John right in front of me, my dream is coming true.

I take a deep breath as we get our luggage and leave the airport. I'm almost tempted to close my eyes so that when I open them, I'll see the city for the first time. But I look at the ground and wait until the taxi drives us to our new apartment before I look at everything around me.

I stand on the front steps of the building as I look around in awe. The bustling street is full of people and taxis, and down both sides of the street there are more apartments and fast food places and lights. John seems to be in a trance by it as well, but we decide to head into the apartment after a fee minutes of looking at the outside.

The apartment is much smaller than the one we had in Charleston, but that's to be expected. There was a bedroom and a bathroom, and a tiny little kitchen. There was also a small living room type of space, filled with a bunch of boxes. The movers must've already come and brought in the boxes.

That night, John and I slept on a mattress on the floor with a blanket tossed over us and the unmade bed. We were too exhausted to unpack any sheets or pillows, so we just laid there and slept, holding each other like we always do.

- time skip to the next morning -

Today is the day that I've been thinking about every day. Yesterday was moving day but today is the day I start speech therapy and eating disorder recovery.

Needless to say, I'm terrified out of my mind.

I woke up this morning to my phone alarm and John nuzzled against me. We got up and unpacks some clothes so we could get dressed, and then went to one of the fast food places down the street for breakfast, since we hadn't gone grocery shopping yet. John plans on doing that while I'm at therapy.

He's not allowed to stay there with me, since everything is confidential and he's not a patient and all that stuff. So for the next few months, for five hours a day, I'm on my own.

It'll be weird. But I'm hoping that I'll be able to make a couple friends. Hopefully they don't think I'm weird because I don't talk. People have said that to me before, and I don't really want it to happen again. It hurts.

John ate a breakfast burrito type thing while I just drank water, since I'm much too nervous to eat.

"I promise, you'll be totally fine. They're trained to help you and they want you to recover and be safe. And don't worry, I'm only one call away. And if it's really horrible, we can try to see if we can transfer you to another place. No matter what, just remember that I love you, okay?" John said as we walked to the building where I'd have therapy. Our hands were clasped together and I nodded, squeezing his hand to try to release some of my nerves.

We walked inside and got all my papers sorted out at the front desk before a nurse told me it was time to go into the first session, and I had to say goodbye to John.

I hugged him tightly and rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head a few times before I pulled away from the hug.

"I love you so much. You can do this." He said, smiling at me. I signed 'I love you' back to him and watched as he walked out the door with a wave and a small smile, before going with the nurse.

"So first things first, we'll do an individual counseling session. We have a counselor here who knows ASL, so don't worry about that. They'll ask you some questions, and then we'll show you around a bit more before you go to your first group counseling session. That's around an hour and a half long, so after that you'll have some downtime to meet other patients and just relax. Afterwards, you'll have speech therapy before one last group session, and then you'll go home. I know that sounds like a lot, but you'll get used to it pretty fast. Does that sound good?" The nurse explained. I took it in for a moment before nodding.

She explained a little more about the whole program and what we'd be doing in individual and group sessions.

Soon enough, I was shown to a room with two large chairs and light yellow walls. The nurse had me sit and told me to wait.

Wait for what? The counselor? My recovery? To go home?

I guess I'll find out soon enough.

a/n: chapter 1!!! I hope you all enjoy this book, I have a ton planned :))) sorry it's so late, but hey, even at 11pm it is still July 27th like I planned.