Listen // Lams

Chapter 3

- Alexander -

Therapy was fine, but I didn't tell John the reason I was kind of out of it. I'm not allowed to tell anyone about other patients, but my problem isn't a patient. It's one of the nurses.

I had gone to my first session without any problems. It was group therapy that got me worked up a bit.

I wasn't lying when I said everyone was nice. There was a girl name Kitty Livingston who immediately made me feel welcomed, since she knows sign too. There's a girl named Martha Mannings who seems nice too. Also, there's a boy named Evan Hansen and he seems a lot like me; he doesn't talk much, seems pretty socially anxious, but he seems like he's a great person when you really get to know him.

So in a sea full of kind people, I never would've expected to see Thomas Jefferson sit in the chair designated for the staff who ran the group therapy for that day.

He was wearing a uniform just like all the other nurses and counselors. He clearly didn't expect to see me there, because he stuttered over my name when he saw it on the roll call list and seemed very uncomfortable every time he asked a question and we all had to answer it.

For example, one of those questions was, have you ever been bullied? We were supposed to raise our hands if we had, and he stared at me awkwardly when my hand went up.

To make the whole thing even more weird, at the end of the session he said that he was supposed to go around to everyone to introduce himself and make them feel welcome. He came to me last, his face bright red in embarrassment.

"This is not the place I thought I'd see you again..." he'd said, scratching the back of his neck. I shrugged a little bit, not knowing how to respond.

"I'm a volunteer counselor here now, working as an intern. But listen, Alex... what I did to you back in South Carolina was absolutely horrible. I honestly regret that every day of my life. I just wish I could go back and change that whole thing, be a good person to you and everyone else. But once I moved up here, I changed myself. I met up with some doctors and therapists and even priests and stuff like that, and I took a good look at myself. I knew I had to change, so I did. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm getting there." He explained in a rush. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked.

Had Thomas honestly had a change of heart? Was he really trying to become a good person?

It's good to know that you're trying to change for the better. I signed after a moment. Surprising me once again, he shakily signed back thank you.

The rest of the day, I couldn't get my mind off the fact that he was actually trying to change. A month ago, he was beating me up in a hallway, and now he's an intern counselor. Things really can change just like that.

John still seems wary of the whole program, because he wants me to be safe. So unless I really need to, I won't be telling him about Thomas. I feel like I'm fitting in and I don't want John to keep worrying about me.

As we ate, John told me all about how boring things were when I wasn't with him. He said that he set up all the furniture and still had time left over. His fake pouting was absolutely adorable.

After dinner, we curled up on the couch together and watched The Office, laughing together as he held me in his arms.

I think I'm gonna like New York.

a/n: the office is the best show ever, and if you haven't seen it, you should totally watch it. Also, what would you guys like to see in this book? I really want to have your guys' input because then I feel connected to you guys and I love hearing your suggestions! Let me know!!