Butterfly

One

April 2015

"I love you, Kritika", He said finally.
I couldn't believe my eyes, he was standing right in front of me, as I heard those words coming out of his mouth. It's all I wanted to hear from him. He finally said it. But what's the point now. It's too late. I could feel blood rushing through my veins. My heart beating out of my chest. I must be holding up a horrible expression as I can see his has changed. He's looking at me all confused, waiting for me to say something. I just can't take it anymore, it's too much. I turn around and take out the paper cutter from my bag. Tears rolling down cheeks and blood rushing through my head. My thoughts are all mixed up and I don't know if I'm thinking clearly, but this is all I'm left with I feel. It's just a cut right? It won't be that painful. I'm on the ground now and I can hear him crying my name out.

I wake up with a jerk and I can still feel my heart beating loudly. I take a look at my wrist and then the clock. "Good morning, Kritika", Mom wished me.

"Good morning."

I got off the bed and opened the curtains. I stood there for a while and let the sun warm me up.

It's all over now but I still dream about him. But what freaks me out the most is the ending of that dream. What worries me is that I might have done that if I were still the person I used to be a year ago. But I'm thankful. Thankful for everything that happened in a year and everyone who stayed with me. Even him. No matter how much I hate him, I feel that if he were not there I wouldn't have experienced such pain and I wouldn't have changed as a person.