There are different kinds of guilt; the kind that drowns you until you feel worthless, and the kind that fires your soul to purpose...
...there's also the kind that cuts through your neck until it feels bone, but by then it's too late to feel anythi...
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ONE YEAR AGO
She was humiliated. Laughed at. Stared at like some circus freak. And on front of the entire school.
Her eyes hazed. The motion detector lights had caught her off guard, blinding her, exposing her to everyone. Phones were flashing. People were jeering and shouting
"Ewww!!!"
"Get a room!!"
"Hooker!!"
She just sat there, in silence, on one of the lunch benches in the middle of the school quad, almost naked, whilst everyone stood around her on the balcony that surrounded the area in a square. Almost like a stage at a concert. But concerts would be more fun than this.
Everyone spun and gathered around like a whirlwind inside her own head.
It was supposed to be the best night of her sophomore year. Homecoming. She had a date, finally. Although he remained on the downlow all night. Until he actually wanted to spend time with her. Not to dance or to drink spiked punch. For sex, of course, but she agreed to it none the less. It made her feel included. In that sad way.
"Ewww!! People eat there!!" an annoying voice spoke out amongst the crowd. A few people laughed, but most of them continued to stare and gasp and take photos and videos with their phones.
"This is so going on the internet" another voice blurred out, whilst holding their phone in the air, recording.
"Oh my god, do you believe this!?!" the girl said, aiming her question to the guy she almost did it with. She squirmed before looking back down onto the bench she was sat on. Her eyes searched around her, in a panic.
She couldn't believe it. He was gone, disappeared. She almost needed to gasp for air. He had left her there, on her own. To be mocked at so that he wouldn't be. She shook her head in shock. She felt like Carrie at prom, but instead of being drenched in pigs blood, she was covered in humiliation and regret. Almost having sex in the school quad was one thing. Being caught almost having sex in the school quad was another.
