I love you || ksj

9

Your pov

I looked up to see Jin happily eating his food but I didn’t have an appetite. Don’t get me wrong, Jin's food looked delicious. But did I deserve it? He looked up and saw me not eating. “why aren’t you eating?” I sighed before pushing my food to the side. “Jin...” I said with regret and reluctance. “...I don’t think that this is working out.” His face dropped and there was tears brimming on his eyes threatening to drop. “w w what?” Jin moved his food to the side also. “you heard me. Now get out” I said but my voice started to break due to me trying to hold back the tears. He stood up and slowly made his way to the door but before he left he turned around. “I won’t stop trying to get you back I’m going to find out what is wrong with you and make everything better.” He said before backing out of the door. He was facing me as I closed the door. I put the left over food in the bin and put the dishes in the sink. I made my way to my sofa and balled my eyes out into a pillow, muffling my sobs.

Jin's pov

“Jin, I don’t think that this is working out" her words echoed in my ears as I found myself walking through the food stalls and down to the park. Slowly, tears started to run down my cheeks getting gradually faster. I was sat on the swings and the dark had seemed to have creeped into every corner of the world apart from the artificial bright white street lights that light the empty roads. Everything sounds so cliché and fake in this world. Everything seems so unrealistic and negative. I miss the world I was once in with (y/n) even if it was false hope. I have to keep trying even if I was never getting it back.

Namjoon’s pov

I was doing the usual when everyone was in bed. I emerged from my room but I realised that Jin's door was still open. Did he not get back yet? I went to get a glass of water when the door opened. I saw Jin but his eyes were red and swollen. Had he been crying? He made eye contact with me before looking away and walking into his room. That was so confusing. What has happened to make him that upset? Is this about (y/n)?

Your pov

You changed Jin’s name from Future_bae<3 to Jin. You saw his messages and chose to ignore them. I’m sure that if I ignore them enough he will just give up.

Jin's pov

Jin: what do you call a sad coffee?

Jin: a depresso

Read, Tue 12:04

At least I know that she is still alive.

Taehyung’s pov

I'm really worried about Jin, he hasn’t eaten for a while and whenever we go out for practice his eyes are always swollen. Everyone is completely broken though, Jungkook and Namjoon are really down all the time. Why has everyone been so sad lately? It feels like the world is just covered in a rain cloud that won’t stop crying. Everyone used to be so full of energy and happy. Where did the happiness go? Even if it was false why is everyone so sad now? Why now? Why did everything happen all at one time?

Your pov

I haven’t gone out of my room for a while now. What is the point? I should just stop. It is only like I’m cutting my life short by some ten years. No biggie. I bet everyone is happy now. I hope everyone is happy now. I wish everyone is happy now. I hope Jin just forgets me. I hope everyone forgets me. I hope that everyone moves on and gets married to some amazing people. People who are better than me, but who isn't better than me to be honest. I’m just a fat, desperate slut who just needs to die.

This isn't even a life worth living anymore. I eat little to no food and when I do eat I physically reject it. I can’t sleep at night but I'm very tired in the day. I constantly have a headache, am dehydrated or feel numb from my stupid emotions. Why do we have to be so emotional all the time as humans? Why do eating disorders, anxiety and depression etc. have to exist? Why does everything have to finish when you want it the most? I want to get drunk and just forget about life. Forget about Jin. Forget about everything. At this point though I cant tell the difference between a meal and alcohol.

Jin's pov

Jin: Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Jin: because it was soda-pressing

Read, Wed 19:45

I need to hang on. I can’t let this die.

Yoongi's pov

Even though I thought that him and (y/n) would be better off apart, I think they are better together. I regret my decision on making them split up. Now everything seems 10 times worse.

Jungkook's pov

That (y/n) hoe broke up with Jin. Good for her, they are all pathetic anyway. I heard that Jin isn't eating or sleeping. Ha, he is so self centred to think that things will change if he stops eating. What is he even thinking? I think he might be more delusional than before.

Jin's pov

Jin: I guess I’m like a fridge with a burst pipe

Jin: cool but broken inside

Read, Thu 13:27

I have to message her every day now.

Jimin’s pov

(Y/n) was a bad decision from the start and I think that as everything developed she turned into the elephant in the room; the thing no one wanted to talk about. With just one touch everything could just break like china. Or with just one small gust of wind it would make everything fall down like a house made of cards. Now everyone is worse than when this all started.

Jin's pov

Jin: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Jin: Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend’s pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken’s life.

Jin: sorry that was too real

Read, Fri 11:54

Hoseok's pov

I witnessed it all. The awkward beginning, the cringey, clingy love and the sad end. But what is it the end of? I don’t know and I probably never will. For the time being though everyone has to fix themselves and each other.

Jin's pov

Jin: Why was the stair case so sad?

Jin: Because everyone walked on them

Read, Sat 10:09

Namjoon's pov

Now I know, they broke up. Now everything seems that it didn’t have a purpose. Did I lose everything for nothing? I hope Jin gets better. After all this time (y/n) hasn’t learnt that she has an impact on people that can be evil or deadly in the end.

Jin's pov

Jin: I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Read, Sun 13:04

Your pov

I ignored another one of Jin's texts. They come every day. I’m going to change my number in a while and move somewhere, maybe I won’t. Jin doesn't go out much anyway because he is an idol so he wouldn’t know if I was gone or not.

Jin's pov

Jin: I can’t do this anymore. I was going to make a joke about being an astronaut and space but it turns out that I hate space, I would prefer it I’d you were still beside me. I would feel so much better even if I could hold your hand and kiss you one more time. I'm sorry for everything.

Message can't be delivered. The number you are contacting doesn't exist anymore.

That was the end. The end of everything. I stopped trying and eventually everything went back to normal after punishment by Bang Si-Hyuk for slacking off and not being able to get along.

~~the end~~