Just So You Know (Camren)

Let Go

Jaliyah POV
Chapter 3

Present Day

Mama and I were currently at the studio. She was recording a new song she wrote called inside. It's one of my favorites that she wrote.

There's a place, a light to go to
My own space away from their truth
My truth and only mine can govern me
There's been so many voices
Just bitter thoughts
But fuck your projections, I'm running through them
Nobody louder or closer to me than me now, than me now

Haunting me
Clouding and drowning me
Please, search carefully
When I open up this time

It's what is on inside, inside, inside
Is gonna get you through it
It's what is on inside, inside, inside
Is gonna get you through it
Maybe I'll get it one day
It's what is on inside, inside, inside
Is gonna get you through it

"Alright Laur let's take 5." Her producer said and she came out.

"You did a good job mama." I said and she sat next next me.

"Thanks baby girl. Lucy is coming with us to the show tonight remember." She said and I nodded. We were going to one of Halsey's shows tonight. Lucy is mama's childhood best friend and they've been getting very friendly recently but Mama says she's not ready for anything since she's not over mom yet. "If you don't want her to come you could tell me. I wouldn't do anything your not comfortable with your my number #1 priority." She said and i smiled.

"I know mama. You have this talk with me every time before we hang out with Lucy. I like her and im not uncomfortable around her at all." I said

"Alright ready to finish this up." Her producer said. She kissed the top of my head she went in the booth and went back to reading my book. I'm currently reading 'The Book Thief'

-

Mama, Lucy and I were backstage of Ashley''s set waiting for her to perform. Mama, Lucy and Ash were outside smoking. Since mom left mama has been smoking and going out. She even cut her hair which is big cause she said she'll never cut her hair, got a nose ring and got some tattoo's. She didn't go completely rouge, she's still level headed and never does anything dumb around me.

"Ashley your on in 10." He stage manager said. "Where is she." He asked me.

"Outside smoking." I said and picked up my notebook to finish my math work. THey all came in laughing really loud. I picked up my headphones and put on spotify to tune them out didn't work. Ashley went to get mic'd up I was left with mama and Lucy. I look up and see them making out on the couch in front of me. I roll my eyes and got up to find a bathroom. I would ask mom but she looks kinda busy.

-

We finally got home. Lucy went home and I was heading straight to my room.

"Jay come here. You haven't talked to me since we got to the show what's going on talk to me." She said and I kept walking.

"Nothings wrong I'm perfectly fine." I said but she grabbed my wrist.

"I know your not fine. Whats up." She said and I sighed and sat on the stairs.

"Do you like Lucy." I asked her

"Of course we've been friends since forever-"

"Not like that do you like like Lucy." I asked and she realized what I was talking about.

"I don't know why?" She asked and I put my head to me knees.

"Because if you like her that means your over mom. I don't think I'm ready for you to be over her just yet." I said truthfully and she hugged me.

"I'm going to be honest with you." She started and I was fiddling with the promise ring. "I haven't been able to move on because I compare everyone to your mom. I'm holding onto something that's never going to happen. She's moved on and I think it's time for me to move on to. Me and Lucy are taking things slow right now. Nothing's official we are going to see how things turn out for right now." She said and I nodded. She was right, mom found the man she wanted to give her the perfect american dream and now it's time for us to do the same. We Both need to just let go of it all. There's no reason why we shouldn't.

"Your right. It's our turn to be happy." I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm heading to bed since we have the AMA's tomorrow and your performing." I said smiling.

"Yep we have a long day tomorrow goodnight monkey." She said and She went into her room and I went to mine. The house has changed a lot. Mama got rid of almost everything in the house and gave it to either the Salvation Army or goodwill. We left Chloe's room alone though we couldn't bring ourselves to getting rid of it. Mama completely redid her room and put all of mom's things in the attic. It was like getting a new start. When I was in my room I grabbed Lenon my stuffed monkey that mom gave me when she first adopted me and I cuddled it and cried. I know I shouldn't and i'm so pathetic but I feel like it was my fault. They were perfect before me. I probably did something to push her away.