Journal (Boyxboy)

Untitled Part 3

"You aren't an easy guy to find you know that." He shook his head and sat in front of me. "It took me 20 minutes to find you. Nice hiding spot, I honestly didn't even think of this place till, you know I don't even know when." Ryan covered up slickly; I closed my eyes trying not to laugh. He could honestly be a little stupid.

You could tell he was waiting for me to speak, but I didn't want to, or need to for that matter. "You're pretty tall too; I don't know how you can hide so easily. I honestly didn't see you till today. If anything, I would have said you were new. But obviously you're not." He rambled; I like his blunt personality, even if most girls hate it. I'm a guy and we still hate it but I didn't mind.

"I don't like your quietness, its... annoying. Why don't you speak?"

"Why do you talk?" I countered.

"Because I want to."

"Well I don't talk because I want to be quiet." He nodded and looked down at the journal in my lap. I still had my pen poised. Whenever I had things going on I had it ready so I could write in it right away.

"What is that?"

"A journal I have to write in." I said in all honesty. It never ends another song I enjoy. Because it really never seems to end, even in a good part of- "Why do you write in it so often?" -life, bad things come along to ruin it.

"It's required and to show what happens daily." I looked up into his big green eyes. Mine were a very dark brown.

"What's daily for you?" he asked getting comfortable and resting his hands on his knees.

"Well... I'm writing down what's going on right now." I shrugged and kept writing. Your Guardian Angel, I love the last 2 minutes of it, it has a lot of power in the song. "I write songs and their lyrics to waste space."

He nodded and stayed quiet, but the silence is something I can tell he doesn't like, he began to fidget. I looked up at him through my bangs. "Why are you so edgy in silence?" I asked.

"I don't know; just don't like it too much. Makes things awkward."

"Things only become awkward if you want them to be." I point out and continued drawing for a few seconds. "Why are you talking to me anyway?"

You found me, don't know why yet why I like it so much... maybe I do.

"You're interesting when I noticed you. Almost the opposite of me." I snorted at his answer but nodded, he was most likely right.

"Exactly the opposite of you." We laughed a little, it almost felt... nice or natural. Only with him though, if it makes sense. It felt natural to laugh with him. Usually when I laugh I feel like it's unnatural and that I shouldn't.

"c'mon, let's go to lunch." That instantly put me back in a bad mood. I shook my head and put my nose back to my journal. I'll admit I am anorexic as well. It's been a problem for the last 3 years. From the start of high school. I can't think of eating and I'm honestly never hungry, you would have to force me to eat.

Most of the time I eat every other day, and only one meal at most the days I do eat. Never say Never, 'don't let me go' is my favorite line. Ryan stared at me, "Why, aren't you hungry?"

"No." I said lightly. Nothing ever appealed to me, and it was a slow death as I got skinnier and skinnier. Stop and Stare, why am I here, not there?

"Okay." He shrugged and leaned back not realizing there was no wall behind him and falling on his back. I laughed lightly, he was so stupid. "No laughing." Ryan pouted and rubbed his head with a laugh of his own.