Chapter Fifteen: Guilt

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I LOVE THE WAY MUSIC INSIDE A CAR MAKES YOU FEEL INVISIBLE; IF YOU PLAY A STEREO AT MAX VOLUME, IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T SEE INTO YOUR VEHICLE. IT TINTS YOUR WINDOWS, SOMEHOW.

|Chuck Klosterman|

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Night had descended on the city. The night brought an unrelenting darkness that wrapped their eyes and mouths, burying them beneath a starless sky. The air had thickened, the temperature dropped and nowhere was there a comforting sound. The bright light of the city lit up, setting light to everyone who wandered into the dark night.

"Look, Jack," Pitch stated as Jack paced up and down in Pitch's apartment, "you take your money, you take your chances," Pitch asserted as he grabbed a bear from his own freezer.

"I mean some saw me there, Pitch," Jack confided in Pitch while he continued to pace. Jack became a never wreck. He wasn't sure if Elsa would snitch on him, he hoped not, but Jack couldn't blame her if she did. Even though Jack desperately didn't want to go to jail, he knew he deep down that he deserved it, "just suppose somebody saw me, and I get caught."

"Look, what do you want?" Pitch questioned as he glanced over at Jack, "I don't make no guarantees," Pitch had no care in what Jack was saying, "Your here all the time looking at me, wanting what I got."

"I never saw, Sandy getting his like that," Jack claimed.

Sandy was Jack's other brother that he never had. Sand was the complete opposite to Pitch. Sandy was a kind guy, always happy. His smile could warm the thousands and his big dreams inspired everyone who listened. Smart and kind were Sandy's characteristic. Pitch and Sandy never liked each other, Jack supposed it was because sandy was liked wherever he went, while Pitch was rejected whenever he went.

"Sandy, scrape it," Pitch spat as he took a sip of his drink, "he always has," Pitch envied Sandy more than anyone. Sandy hadn't need to a single criminal deed to get to where he was, he got everything he ever wanted, "I tried it like Sandy," Pitch admitted to Jack as he moved forward, "then I got smart. Pretty soon I'm gonna get out," Pitch announced as he collected a glass and gave it to the dark haired beauty that sat on the sofa, "you ought to think about doing the same. Otherwise, you're gonna end up like everyone else around here, a nobody."

"That's not true, Pitch, everybody here's got a name," Jack retaliated. This was Jack first time standing up to Pitch. This was Jack first time telling Pitch his true beliefs towards his comments.

"Nobody!" Pitch screamed as Jack backed up slightly. Jack remained calm and confident, not wanting to reveal that he was slightly startled at his brother's reaction, "you know what," a pause, "you think big, but you don't have the guts to grab it. Not like me."

Jack turned away from Pitch. Jack knew in some way, Pitch was right. Jack didn't have the guts to grab it.

"You think your so smart," Pitch wailed in the background with half a smirk plastered on his face as he noticed he had broken Jack down.

A realisation hit Jack hard. The guilt sat not on his chest but inside his brain. What he had done he could not undo. He knew he'd done something pretty awful when he had to work so hard to justify it. The more demanding the reparations his subconscious required the worse he knew it was.

"I feel bad, Pitch," Jack admitted out loud. A slight weight was lifted off his shoulder as he said it out loud. As if, as he sated it out loud he then knew what needed to be done.

"So?" Pitch scoffed, "feel better," Pitch announced as he through Jack a bottle containing some type of drugs he had picked up, "South America's finest," Pitch declared as Jack caught the bottle easily.

Jack scoffed at his brother, shaking his head as he looked down at the small bottle. At that moment, drugs didn't appease him. All drugs had ever done to Jack was ruin him. It never did him any good. Walking, Jack stopped at the brown hair beauty and dropped the bottle into her lap.

"Hey," Pitch blurted as he saw Jack's new expression. Looking back towards the beauty sat on the sofa, "he's like my little brother. I love him," Pitch stated as he placed his hands on Jack, but swiftly Jack shoved him away.

Turning, Jack left. Knowing what he had to do next, Jack set out on his journey to redemption.

•    •    •

Patience was not exactly Jack strongest quality, yet he put his patience to the test as he waited within his car. Jack knew that Elsa had only finished her shift at the diner a few moments ago and so she would have to walk back home. He thought about picking her up, but Jack was sure she would never set foot in a car with him. So, Jack retorted to sitting outside her house, patiently waiting.

Seeing her reflection in his rear window mirror, brought a smile to his face. Jack speedily got out of his car and stood in front of Elsa, who appeared bewildered to see him.

"I know you dodn't want to see me," Jack breathed as he placed his hands up as if he was surrendering himself to her, "and I know you don't want to hear from me, but there's something that I had to do," Elsa watched and waited, "Look here, there's my Rolex, it's worth a lot of money. I don't know how much, but I know its worth a lot," Jack declared as he held a bag out for Elsa to take, "and I got some cash here, its almost about two hundred bucks. It's all I got."

"Whats this for Jack, I thought you were clean," Elsa retaliated as she gazed at Jack with disgust.

"Look, Elsa, just cause I want to help doesn't mean I did nothing," Elsa raised her eyebrows towards him as she crossed her arms, "all right, all right, just suppose, I know these guys who knew about your robbery, just suppose, " pause, "then I get the feeling of bad and everything-"

"It was four thousand dollars, your asshole. Don't try and buy me off with some wristwatch," Elsa exclaimed as she pushed Jack away. Turning away, Elsa made her way towards her house, getting ready to be in the comfort of home.

"Elsa," Jack begged as he grasped her gently, forcing her to turn towards him, "this is a Rolex. Just look at this watch."

"That four thousand dollars, broke my mothers back," Elsa bickered as she turned sharply towards Jack, "insurance ain't going to pay it. So we're not going to make it," Elsa murmured as the tears forced to appear, "we don't have it. I'm pretty sure I know who does," Elsa yelled as she hit jack in the chest again. Jack did not retaliate against her hits, he deserved it.

"I swear to god, I'll pay you back," Jack promised as Elsa turned while scoffing at his words. Elsa merely made it to the porch before Jack spoke again, "I swear to god, Elsa, I dodn't have it," it killed jack that Elsa didn't believe him, "look what if I pay you a little at a time. I'll give you a hundred bucks a month."

"I hear Pitch does all right for himself. If you want to help so much, why don't you get the money from him?" Elsa questioned suddenly as she remembered all the stories of Pitch and his sudden wealth.

"That kind of money! Pitch would kill me," Jack exclaimed as he glanced up towards Elsa.

"What do you want from me?" Elsa blurted as she gazed at Jack., "you want me to cry for you?"

With a sigh, Elsa turned away from Jack, Before opening her door, Elsa glanced back round towards Jack, "why don't you get away from our house," Elsa murmured sadly before she opened her house door and walked inside.

Jack stood, alone. Alone with his guilt and anger.

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