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Chapter 11- No Drama Llama

Chapter 11- No Drama Llama

Chapters song- Empty- Olivia O'Brien

I know it has been a while. I have been lacking inspiration from this story and have found myself stuck. Coming back and re-reading this story, I have realised just how much it means to me and how much it has helped to genuinely write about problems that I also face.

This book is very personal. Anyway welcome back everyone, enjoy a brand new chapter!

"Some people search their whole lives to find what I have found in you"

Matilda

Recess came in a hurry. Riley continued to poke his pencil into my back for that entire session. I have decided to not associate with anything to do with that guy.

All this crazy talk I've been having with myself is ridiculous and weird. I'm acting like I have a middle school crush and that's definitely not the deal. I don't like, like boys. I don't do feelings.

I fake it until I make it, I lie and I sleep with them. It's what I do, it's what I have always done.

I keep telling myself that i'll change but who am I kidding?

I am not who I once was, I never will be. It is too late to try and miraculously change myself and who I have become.

I sat down on the table next to Vanessa. I have completely forgotten about my attire until I see her eyes scan me up and down, like she's seen a camel with 3 heads.

"What are you wearing!?" Her mouth is smack bam open. It reminds me of Riley and his idiotic fantasy about flies entering my mouth.

For gods sake, why can't I just get him out of my head?

"I, um, well I think I am sick, didn't really feel like coming to school this morning" I express.

What's the point of arguing, she is going to blow my head off anyway.

"Sick or not sick, you can't come to school and sit with us looking like that" She throws her hands into the air.

I mentally role my eyes, why do I put up with her again?

The plan for today was to go unnoticed. To be forgotten. Why can't it be that easy?

"Fine, I wasn't staying anyway. I hope you continue to freeze in your mini skirt and your crop top" I get up from my seat and turn my back.

"Just a tip though, boys like cleavage, but not that much. You look like your boobs are clapping"

Gee, I am a bitch.

I hear her gasp behind me and that's all I need to know I should have just kept my mouth shut. I quickly walk out of the cafeteria.

So much for no drama today...

***

Riley

Watching from across the cafeteria I look at Matilda. She looks different today. I mean I haven't known her for very long but I didn't even think she even owned a jumper.

She hasn't even sat down for very long when I see her stand up and walk out of the cafeteria in a rush.

The boys stare from me to her.

"How am I supposed to know" I humph. "I've got other things to worry about other than girl dramas."

They nod their heads in agreement.

I decide I'll pull her aside next class. I'm just curious.

Or am I wanting to see her because I care to know if she is actually okay. No one walks out of the cafeteria like that unless they are pissed off or crying.

***

We had another period of English and I obviously expected Matilda to be there. I was late by 5 minutes just to walk in and realise she wasn't even there herself.

I don't even know this chick and I still don't even know why I'm caring about where she even is.

Ever since the other night I just can't help but think about her. She's confusing, but honest. She's caring, but direct. I used to look at those girls, 'The Popular's', especially Matilda and wonder if what they showed the school was really who they were. I mean I don't even know whether people that plastic truly exist.

Matilda changed that though, seeing her the other night, without any of those people with her made me wonder if she was who she came across as.

She puts across that she's happy. But every time I've seen her she is sad, lonely and blocked off.

She isn't what every one thinks and I am not sure whether she is scared of people knowing that or not. Her question the other night bewildered me. Why would she ask such a strange question?For a popular, she's deep.

I told her that I don't care what people think of me. It is true, to some extent.

Although I do feel like people's opinions of me have given me stereotypes and made me feel different about myself. Obviously no one knows that though. Everyone only sees what I show them in my life and here at Delroy that isn't much.

The only people that really know me at this school are Jack and Ryder.

Everyone thinks I am a bad guy because I hang out with guys that box and wear leather jackets. No one knows anything about my life and just assume that they 'know' me.

I can guess what everyone thinks. They probably assume that my family is loaded, that I face absolutely no problems, I get and sleep with all the girls, that I drink, smoke and am so up myself that I think I can be with absolutely any girl I desire.

I'll be honest, I do have a lot of girls wanting my attention but that necessarily want it.

Assume is the exact word to describe it. It is all simple stuff. Everyone believes everything they hear because we are in high school.

The girls feed off any drama. I don't know why they all just can't stay away from each other if they don't like each other. Well that's what us guys do. If we don't like each other we just don't associate.

The thing that surprised me the most was her fascination with my car. That actually kinda turned me on. You know what I dreamt of that night.

Joking, joking... well kinda.

Anyway I didn't know a girl could be that good with cars. See another assumption.

She is a very smart girl though. She is a very intriguing girl, and even though I know I should just let a girl be. I want to know more about her.

She is one hell of a mystery. To everyone else she is who she seems to be.

To me though she's different from any other girl I've met here at this fake school. She's lost and I want to help her find herself. Even though I shouldn't, I don't think I'll be able to help myself.

On that note I put my hand straight up in the air.

"Yes, Riley"

"Yeah sir, I've gotta head" I feel everyone's eyes follow me out the door and stop when I realise I've got no idea where she is.

Matilda, where are you?

Let me know what you thought about this new chapter, I will be trying to update whenever it is possible. I can't believe it has been so long since the last time I updated. See you guys soon!

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