Promise Me (Book One of the Kirkland Family)

Promise Me: Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 
The weekend came and went, and spending those days with Josie made Justin want to stick around a little longer.  The days turned into two weeks, and Josie spent most of them with her daddy, instead of with Hannah, which pleased Justin.  But he had to wonder what Hannah thought about Josie’s phone call, telling the woman that she was going to stay at the farm with her family.  Did Hannah think that he was purposefully keeping Josie from her?  Or was she happy for them, finally taking time together?

He honestly didn’t know what to think.  Josie continually talked about Hannah, but she never again mentioned the kiss she witnessed.  However, that didn’t mean he didn’t think about it constantly...or Hannah.  And the videos Josie made inspired most of that thinking.  There were hours of home movies on the discs, and Justin stayed up late at night, watching them on his computer.  During the weeks he’d been gone on the submarine, Josie and Hannah had formed a bond he could barely comprehend.  He only thought he knew the depths of the friendship between his daughter and the redheaded beauty.  But as he watched them laughing, joking, playing, working, shopping, talking, singing...he saw a glow of pure adoration in both their faces.  Josie looked up to Hannah as though the woman hung the moon, the stars and every galaxy between Earth and Heaven.  

And Hannah gazed at his daughter with a mother’s love.  A love so rich, so divine, so overwhelming, Justin’s heart ached.  He was glad Josie had finally been on the receiving end of such love, but he also hated Hannah a little for giving that to his little girl.  Josie was going to be heartbroken when it was time for her to go home.  Because of Hannah.  Because of Hannah and her good-natured personality, Josie was finally loved unconditionally by a woman -- other than her grandmother -- and because Hannah could never be a real mother for Josie, Justin continued to question the end result of that relationship.  

Or maybe she can be a mother to Josie?

No...Justin pushed that reckless question out of his mind.  He had no intention of getting married to Hannah, which would be the only way she’d ever be Josie’s mother.  He wasn’t about to fall in love with anyone.  He’d been down that avenue, and didn’t plan to travel there again anytime soon.  If he ever decided to get married again, then he needed to know his chosen wife would be faithful and so much in love with him, he’d never doubt her on anything.

Not that Hannah couldn’t ever be that woman, but he wasn’t ready.  His heart was still a shriveled mess, only pumping blood and beating with love for his daughter and family...no one else.  Not yet.  Maybe not ever.

 “When I fall in love…it will be forever…”

 Justin closed his eyes and breathed out every time Hannah’s voice said those words in his head.  He wished he could believe them.  If he did, then he might pursue a relationship with her, but as it was, the next two weeks after the Fourth of July were torturous enough.

 Occasionally, when life at the farm became a boring routine, Justin would drive Josie into town to work at the store with Hannah and Kim.  But the only times he saw Hannah were during those few minutes in the mornings and afternoons.  She’d smile when she saw Josie and look at him with her beautiful hazel eyes, and he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.  Josie came home those nights, talking nonstop about Hannah and how wonderful of a day she spent in Hannah’s company, and Justin could almost picture it. 

 But on those days when Josie saw Hannah, the same debilitating fear settled in his heart.  Josie would be heartbroken when it was truly time to go back home.  His daughter had come to rely on Hannah as a surrogate mother, and Justin was terrified of severing that relationship.  But he knew it had to be done.  Eventually.  He needed to sit Josie down and prepare her for the inevitable.  Before things got out of hand.  To explain why her friendship with Hannah would never last beyond the summer…why her father was not interested in beginning a friendship with Hannah.  Why he had not repeated that kiss she saw.