Promise Me (Book One of the Kirkland Family)

Promise Me: Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Justin lowered himself onto the bottom stair tread at his parents' house, waiting for Josie to pack up some stuff for the night at Hannah's.  His head hurt.  Too much had happened today, and it was only one o'clock.  When Hannah told him she might have joined him in Savannah, his heart took a leap of hope.   But then she said she wouldn't -- couldn't -- leave, and he knew....

He wouldn't -- couldn't -- leave her either.  His previous arguments had been pointless.  Life was not worth living without love...and he and Josie would only be half a family, half of themselves, without Hannah.  There would be sacrifices -- great sacrifices -- and he still didn't have a freaking clue how he was going to make this work, but he had to try.  He had to get back to Savannah, round up his employees and sort this out as best as he could without anyone losing a job, or him losing that navy contract.  He figured his best option was to train someone for manager position, who could monitor things from the Georgia office.

But he didn't know who.

His mind drifted back to sitting with Hannah on that staircase that had to be eighty years old.  And it gleamed like new.  Hannah had taken her family home and put her pride and heart into redoing the interior.  And she’d probably did it all on her own, stripping and waxing the hardwood floors, installing new light fixtures, painting the twelve-foot ceilings, laying new tile in the kitchen and bathrooms...sweat, calluses, mostly likely a few curse words thrown in...she had done it, because she loved her house.  It was evident in every room.  Even that dreadful pink bedroom upstairs in the back.  That had been her room as a child.  It was a museum to the happiness and love she felt here.  She had taken something old and worn, and had turned it into an extension of her very soul.

And she almost tossed it all away for him.  Him!  Justin “Jackass” Kirkland.

She loves me.

Hannah Baker loved him.  

Oh, he heard her say it often enough in the past couple of hours, but there had been a part of his heart stopping the words from really sinking in.  Because they were just words.  She had finally said those words -- those words that had been shining in her eyes for a while now -- and they had talked about it, but it was still difficult to accept.

Now, that obstruction, that wall...that protective shield around his heart was gone, and the meaning dug into him, burrowing deep into the empty hole he’d longed to fill for fourteen years.  He sat upright, inhaled the first real breath since he learned he was to become a father those fourteen years ago...and he let it out.

She loves me.  Hannah Baker -- my Songbird -- loves me.

And I’m in love with her.  

It took more than a house, a fight amongst parents, and a box of unused condoms for him to come to that conclusion, but it finally punched him with a fist to the face.  He wanted to tell her.  He needed to tell her, to shout it out, kiss her senseless, whisper to her, “I love you...”

But his thoughts faltered as he remembered what was next.  Make it work.  A life together.  He had to do that first.  But the chaos of accomplishing that was beginning to take it’s toll on him.  Get to Savannah.  Figure it out there.  But when he did get to Savannah, and he couldn’t figure it out...then what?  Who could take over the duties while he worked from home -- this home?

Josie slowly came down the stairs, with her duffel bag and groaned as she sat next to her dad.  “How’s your head, sweetie?” Justin asked.

“Still hurts, but the pills help,” she said.

“Are you sure you want to stay with Hannah tonight?”

Josie gave him a weak smile.  “Are you sure you won’t marry her?”

He studied Josie for a moment.  His daughter had known all along.  She’d known what was in both their hearts.  The purity of her own heart was a source of pride to him.  Taking hold of her hand, he asked, “Is that what you want for me?  To marry Hannah?”

“I want you to be happy, Daddy.  Hannah makes you happy.  I wish you could see that.  You smile and laugh so much more now.”

“I see it,” he admitted.

“So, you’re going to marry her?”

He smiled.  “What did I say about that?”

Josie rolled her eyes, groaned at the pain the action created, and said, “You said, you’d let me know when you know.”

“And I will,” he said, kissing her hand.  “I promise.”

“Okay.”  She wearily laid her head against his shoulder.

Justin continued to hold her hand as he considered his next request.  “Josie...there’s one more thing I need for you to do.”

“What’s that?” she asked, yawning.

“Well...I have to fly back to Savannah tomorrow.  If Hannah doesn’t mind, would you stay with her until I get back?  She’s going through a lot of personal issues right now, and I don’t want her to be alone.”

“You mean with Kim and the baby?” Josie asked.

“That and...”  She was going to find out sooner or later.  Justin figured it was best that she heard it from him.  Prepare her for Hannah’s mood swings in the coming days.  “Hannah found out today that Mark is her real father.”

Josie didn’t seem surprised.  She yawned again and said, “Oh, that.”

Justin looked down at her.  “Did you know?”

She shook her head a tiny bit.  “No, but I thought something was weird about those two.  Hannah said it was probably just because they hung out so much, but I could see it.”

“You could see it,” he mused to himself.  “You know what, Josie girl?”

“What?”

“You’re one smart cookie.”

She giggled softly.  “I keep telling everyone that.”  She snuggled her head further into his shoulder.  “Why are you going to Savannah?  Something wrong at work?”

“Yes and no,” he responded in a heavy tone.  “For us to stay here, I’ve got to find someone to take my place.  I’m not giving up my job, Josie, but I think I can do what I’ve been doing from here, if I can get someone to hold down the fort in Savannah.  It’ll be a lot of traveling for me, and a lot of adjustment for all of us.  It might take a while, but I’m willing to try.”

She smiled.  “Because you want to be happy.”

“I want very much for both of us to be happy,” he clarified.

“Then get Chad to do it,” she suggested.

“Chad?”

“Yeah, you hired him, didn’t you?  And he doesn’t want to travel that much because of his brothers and sister, so why not let him work out of the office for you?”

Justin stared off into space.  Chad.  Yeah, why not Chad?  He would have to be trained anyway.  The rest of his techs did most of the install and programming for the radios that they serviced.  Chad knew all about that line of work, and he was familiar with the military, and he was charming and smart.  It wasn’t as if he’d have to deal with payroll or legalities of the business.  Justin had accountants and lawyers and a staff of receptionists for that.  All Justin had been doing in the last few years was meeting with clients about contracts and concerns...the submarine trip, notwithstanding.  And Justin could still travel when necessary, taking Chad with him to learn the ropes of that.  Chad...a manager.  Why not?

“You’ve been upgraded to a smart cupcake,” Justin told Josie.  “That’s brilliant!”

Josie shrugged.  “Adults are funny.”

*****

Justin helped Josie into his truck and then went back to get her guinea pig.  If she was going to stay with Hannah for the rest of the week, then she wanted her pet with her.  He didn’t mind.  After all, if things went well, they’d be living there permanently.

With the travel cage in one hand and a bag of supplies in the other, he rushed back to his truck.  But halfway there, his cell phone rang, and he figured it was Hannah.  Tucking the bag under one arm, he answered, “Hannah?  We’ll be there in a little bit.”

“Justin...it’s Beth,” an all-too familiar voice said over the line.  He feet slowed.  God, what now?

“This isn’t a good time, Beth,” he growled at his ex-wife, now moving swiftly toward the truck.  

A silvery laugh came through.  “I’m terribly sorry to interrupt your ‘date’ -- though screwing your brother’s ex-girlfriend is bad taste, even for you -- but it is very important that we do speak now.  You see, Justin, you’ve been keeping Josie away from me, and I’m afraid I can’t allow that anymore, especially now that I know how incredibly talented our daughter is.  I’ve seen her videos.”

Justin’s pace slowed again.  “What are you talking about, Beth?  I’ve never kept Josie away from you, and how do you know about Hannah?”

Josie heard her mother’s name through the open passenger side window, and she glanced at him, her eyes wide.  He stared deeply into his daughter’s beautiful face, knowing she could see the glower on his.  Quickly, he stored Lady’s stuff in the back and turned away so that Josie couldn’t hear him.

“Of course, I know all about your little friend,” Beth laughed through the phone, her voice barely registering on the bitter side, but he could still hear it.  “Josie has told me all about...Hannah, was it?”

All color from the world drained away as those last words sank into his brain.  That Beth even spoke Hannah's name sent chills of dread down his spine.  He peered back at Josie, who hung her head and looked away.  Covering the phone with his hand, he whispered, “She’s been calling you?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she said.  “She called the other night, and...”

“And you told her about Hannah.”

Nodding meekly, she replied.  “Yes.”

Justin closed his eyes.  “Okay...it’s okay.  I’m not mad at you,” he told her and focused on what Beth was saying to him, but he cut her off.  “First of all, Beth, you have no right to contact Josie without my permission.  And secondly, I have not been keeping her away from you.  If you had any wish to see her, then all you have to do is contact me or my lawyer.  But since, I have not heard from you or Jim in the last six months concerning visitation with Josie, then I don’t see why it matters.”

Beth laughed again, grating on his eardrums.  “Oh, Justin!  I wish I could see your face right now.  It must be priceless!  The thing is...I don’t have to have your permission anymore.  I found myself a new lawyer, a better lawyer, and we are taking you back to court for joint custody.”

A dizzy blackness fogged his mind.  Joint custody...never!  “That still does not change the fact that you cannot talk to Josie without my permission.”

“Actually, it does,” she chimed.  “My lawyer and I requested a temporary, partial custody until the matter could be settled permanently...oh, and since you missed the hearing last week and didn’t speak your mind about it, the judge gave me permission to see and talk to Josie whenever I please.”

“What hearing?  I never received notice of a hearing, so I can have the ruling revoked.”

“You were sent a notice, I assure you,” Beth said patiently.  “I had a courier personally deliver it to your condo on Wednesday.  Oh, but that’s right!  You weren’t home.  That’s a shame, Justin.  Really.”

“You can’t do that, Beth.  Jim would have--”

“Oh, I can, and I did,” she laughed.  “And that’s another shame -- your lawyer.  I believe he was dis-barred last week as well.”

“What?!”

“Some awful things in his past,” Beth cooed, and Justin knew -- absolutely knew -- she had something to do with that.  “Your case was turned over to one of his associates, but since that lawyer did not know where you are or how to contact you, I’m afraid we had to go ahead with the hearing without you.  Such a horrible turn of events.  Now, as soon as I can, I’ll be catching the first flight into Little Rock so I can finally see my baby girl.  It was nice talking to you, and I’m sure I’ll see you soon.  Goodbye.”  The call ended.

His blood turned to ice.  Beth was coming here to see Josie...and she had legal permission to do so...  

“Daddy?” Josie asked softly.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I know, sweetie,” he said, stuffing his phone into his back pocket.  “I’m not mad at you, I promise.  But there’s been a change.  Your mother now has temporary custody of you, until I can get it overturned.”

Josie paled.  “Can she do that?"