The Journal of a Connecticut Yankee

Tempting Fate

January 27th.

Remind me to never tempt Fate again by saying anything about luck. Cuz that bitch has a pair of steel toes on and she will kick me in the balls for doing it.

Case in point:

I was ambushed. Sons of bitches shot an arrow through my shoulder and now I was surrounded by 4 archers and some asshole with a sword. Might have been a Knight, Paladin or Inquisitior, wasn't sure as the pain was the only thing I could really think about. I tried to reach Winona but was already too late as they all had their bows drawn and aimed at me.

I laid on the ground, against a tree, the arrow still in my shoulder as Rudolf stood near. He should have just ran for it but god damn he was loyal. Man's best friend might be a dog, but this horse would put Fido to shame.

"You've led us on quite the chase." The guy with the sword said calmly as he approached. He stuck it's point to my chest as he smiled maliciously at my agony.

"A number of our brothers fell to your traps..." He pushed it deeper, the tip now just penetrating the skin.

"Too bad you weren't one of them." I growled through my teeth.

He pushed a little more and the sword sank deeper. I tried my best not to give the bastard the satisfaction of knowing what kind of pain I was in, but god help me it was excruciating. The best I could do was to grunt and growl, keeping my screams in.

"Colonel Faith said that we have to take you alive. That you were special. You and her came from the same place, did you not? Earn was it? No, that's not right. Oh, Chief God what was that name..." He rubbed his chin in thought as I tried to make sense of what the hell he was saying to me.

"Earth!" He exclaimed with a smile, "Yes, that was it! You and her are from Earth. Some far away land, full of wonders, free from those slut monsters, a true paradise it would seem. A shame she said it was impossible to return to, I would have very much liked to see it." He said conversationally to me as if we were having a fucking ice cream social with his sword stuck in me.

Wait...  Impossible to return?

"It must be Her divine will that brought the two of you together like this. And to have the holy relic with you as well? Truly you were both a test of will for us and a gift bearer."

I looked to him in shock. My thoughts fought through the pain as the realization hit me. That fucking bitch lied to me! The military wasn't here, nor was the US. There was no 'operation,' just her bitch ass. She was just like me, some stranger in a strange land. Cept where I became a Merc, that cunt signed up with The Order.

"It's a shame that you died during pursuit and we could only retrieve the holy relic..."

My eyes met his own. He was going to kill me and take Big Boy. Then, with it in her hands, GI Jane was going to do something horrible and a lot of people were going to die.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Damn it, I tried, I really fucking did try! But the odds, they just weren't in my favor this time. Sorrow grabbed a hold of the steering wheel as it drove me down to the end of my road. The bitter taste of despair filled my mouth as he smiled down at me. The bastard knew exactly what was going on in my head and he was enjoying every second of it.

It's funny. Despite all my talk of religion, the fact that I celebrate Christmas, I wasn't exactly the God fearing, church goer some of you may think I am. For me, I just didn't really have that much faith in a higher power. Heaven probably wasn't in my cards. I've killed people, failed to bring peace to this world and now I'll be a post humorous accessory to thousands dying from a nuclear blast. Yeah, somehow I didn't think those pearly white gates would be waiting when I close my eyes for the final time.