LIMERENCE | JUNGRI

01

REBEL CELESTINE

"To love selflessly is the best way of loving."

My Daddy used to say that to me as a child. And right there in his eyes, fear, sincerity, and love were mixed.

I remember the first time he said that to me. Little sleepy Rebel was all dazed and confused while her Father was giving her a bedtime story.

"Love, Dad?" Little me said, yawning. He nodded while making a sound. "Hm-mm. Someday, you will meet your own prince charming, Rebel. You'll have your own happily ever after. Maybe not inside a castle but... you'll have one."

He lightly touched the tip of my nose while I softly giggled. He gave a good night kiss on my forehead and tucked me properly inside my blanket. He turned off the light and said, "I love you, Rebel." before closing my bedroom door.

I wiped the tears off my face as I remember my last memory of him. The bittersweet pain of yesterday. Taking a deep breath, I rest my head on the headboard as I remain calm.

Why did you have to leave so soon, Dad?

I heard a knock on my door. "Rebel, can you help Misty with her homework? Malalate na ako. I have lots of work to do." Pumunta ako sa pintuan para buksan. I saw my Mom, looking haggard than before, her coat is not properly ironed. She was hurrily searching for something inside her bag that she can't even glance at me.

"Did you see my phone? Kanina pa ako hanap nang hanap." Without saying a word, I looked down to her coat's pocket. Napailing na lang ako at napangiti nang kaunti. "My, nasa bulsa mo."

Napakapa siya kaagad sa bulsa ng coat niya at napabuntong-hininga. "Stress is not good for me." She faced me with a smile but I saw how it faded.

"Have you been crying?"

Yes.

"No."

Her facial features softened as she reached out for me for a hug. "Is this about your Dad?" She whispered to my ear while stroking my hair, but I remained silent.

"I'm sorry, we all didn't want that to happen." 'Yan naman lagi nating sinasabi, 'diba? Wala naman tayong magagawa eh. What done is done.

"You'll get the hang of it, eventually." She whispered the last word as if she was depending on it. I rested my head on her shoulder while nodding. I can't speak straight.

Things are just the same as before. I just miss him suddenly.

•　•　•　•　•

"You have to learn how to pack your lunch, Misty. The life of a sixth grader." I murmured the last sentence while Misty is practically just ignoring everything I've said.

Nakatalikod siya, nanunuod ng TV habang may bowl ng cereals sa isang kamay. "No, Rebel. I'm not ignoring you. Ayaw ko lang talaga pansinin 'yung sinabi mo."

"Then it's called ignoring." Lumapit ako sa kanya at binigay sa kanya 'yung baon niya. "I really love you, pero kailangan mong matuto."

Tinalikuran ko siya para makaakyat ako. Mag-aayos lang ako ng kaunti bago pumasok. Daily routine, especially kapag tulog pa si Mommy.

"Mabilis lang ako, Misty. Hindi ka malalate ngayon." Nilakasan ko 'yung boses ko dahil palayo ako nang palayo kay Misty.

She really got mad at me one time. Late na ako nagising at may test daw siya sa first period. I didn't even know that then! She won't fail, what's with the fuss?