Could be a Star

Chapter 13

It's sunny. Too sunny, so sunny that I can't properly see where I'm going. I'm in a park but I don't know where it is. The flowers are too pretty and the tress are too green. There's a large, old and fancy brick building to my left. I know its a school and I know I don't like it. I shade my eyes to block out the sun but it only gets brighter. I can't find who I'm looking for and I don't even remember who I'm looking for, I just know that I need to find them or I'm in serious trouble.

Then I see a big group of boys running through the park. They're all wearing the same blue shorts and tee shirt and are all tall with big muscles. Suddenly, I see who I'm looking for

'Ricky?' I shout

He's in the group, at the edge. He turns and sees me but ignores me. He just keeps on running with the rest of the group. l notice that he's quite a bit smaller than the rest of the group and his hair's shorter than it usually is.

'Ricky!' I call again

He doesn't respond at all this time, so I run up to the group and begin to jog with them.

'Ricky,' I say 'What are you doing?'

'Jack, seriously go away,' he orders, not looking at me 'You shouldn't be here,'

'Neither should you!' I tell him 'You don't belong here!'

'Yes, I do. I obviously do,' he says firmly.

I consider how the whole group of joggers is dressed identically with identical hair cuts and how they're all running in perfectly timed step. Ricky included.

I wonder if he's right. In the back of my mind I know he is but I won't accept it.

I can't keel running anymore, I'm out of breath and sweating in the heat and I'm so tired. I stop and try to catch my breath. Ricky and the joggers run off towards the big brick school and there's nothing I can do about it. I fall to the ground.

Instead of falling onto the hot green grass, I land on solid floor and my knees hit it hard. It hurts.

Its like I'm in a brick cave and the walls are dark and it's damp and cold.

There's a hand in mine and its helping up and I stumble but the hand is strong and it helps me to my feet. I look to see who it is and I don't recognise the person but I know its Kate. She smiles a little and leads me into a room with no decoration and one four poster bed. She puts her finger too her mouth silently and then whispers

'We can't be heard,'

I know why. Its because the police are coming and if they see us, they make us tell them where to find Max. And they can't find Max.

Where is Max anyway? I know. I know that I know but for the life of me I couldn't tell you where he is.

There's a crash and I hear the door break down. I turn to Kate but she's not there. I call out to her and there's no reply.

I run out of the room and onto a balcony. I see the police and they're circled around Max with him in the middle. There's no escape. I run down massive stony steps to try and get down to the Max and the police. But the steps go on forever and I'm just running down them and I don't reach the bottom and my heart's beating so fast and I'm crying and running down the steps as fast as I can.

Then I'm outside and it's raining and there's thunder and the police are still there and they're taking Max away and I'm shouting and crying but he isn't even making a sound. Lightning strikes and there's a flash. Its blinding, I have to close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears. My head is ringing.

Then I remember Ricky and suddenly I'm in a swimming pool. We're the only two people there. I'm at one end and he's at the other. There are no sides on the pool so to get to each other, we'd have to swim.

'I'm happy,' he shouts across to me. His voice echoes.

'How can you be?' I ask. I don't understand.

'You wouldn't understand,'

'But I want to!'

'No, you don't! Believe me!' he jumps into the pool and makes not effort to make himself float 'Just stop asking,'

I see that he's drowning but he's smiling, he wants to drown. Why would he want to drown? I can't stand it and my head hurts and I jump in to try and save him.

But I don't land in water, I land on wood.

I'm on a raft.

Its dark and foggy but the moon is bright and the sea is green. The raft is just big enough for only me and when I stand up, it wobbles and I almost fall.

Then I hear a scream. I jump and look around me, frightened.

I see Max, and he's on a raft too but his is smaller than mine and is rocking dramatically from side to side.

Then I notice. He's surrounded by sharks and they're biting at his raft and there must be hundreds of them but there's nothing he can do and they just stay there and don't go away and he's screaming and screaming and I want to do something but all I can do is scream out Max's name and feel helpless and I just want everything to go away and for me to be in bed with the sun shining gently outside.

And I am. I am in bed and, its so clear, I have been all along. And there are no rafts or sharks or swimming pools or brick buildings or joggers.

But my hearts still beating. Nothing has changed.

Because there's still Ricky and there's still Max and I'm still here. And somehow, nothing about my dream was fantasy at all.