11:39pm UK time
12the Tuesday July 2018
⚠TRIGGER WARNING⚠
I am currently listening to "Nico And The Niners" and its my newest bop i am so very happy they are back.
I feel so very alone at this point of time, something happened today and it has hurt my feelings and my trust has once again been broken and i am losing trust in all, there isn't that many i have trust in.
The voice in my head keeps talking to me 24/7 even when I'm with my love and friends, he won't stop, he scares me he is worse than Anastasia, i feel like Ana will be back soon, she never leaves for no longer than two weeks its been about one weeks but if he doesn't leave i will have two voices, I'm already so weak, how am i going to cope with them both, i just want to cry why must this happen to me, so much has gone wrong in my past life and i just want it to stop, i beg, i beg them both to stop but they won't they just laugh and continue the torture of putting me down always saying stuff to me, it hurts....
I don't feel safe in this house i feel like something bad is watching me like something bad is going to happen very soon, but i can't think what it may be just yet.
I keep having flash backs to when i was a young girl, i had trust in him but he still did what he did and then said i was making it all up, he denied all of it, and because i am still young hardly no one believes me, he has scared me for the rest of my life, and my mother doesn't give a fuck, no one does, why must all of this happen to me?
.....i was 5, i was playing with some toys downstairs and i wanted to get my Lego's so he helped me....i thought he was going to help me...but he didn't, he did something so much worse to me and i can never forget what he did, if you haven't caught on he.......raped me and i still have troubles with all men to this day, i can't do anything if there is a man there, and people get pissy with me because i don't ever go and get stuff if there is a male there, i can't help it, i wish he didn't do it, i wish is didn't everyday, it hurts to even think about it, it hurts to know hardly no one believes me.....i guess its what i deserve.
Im such a fucking mistake, so fucming stupid, so fucking useless, so fucking ugly, i hate me, i hate everything about me, im disgusting, im a terrible person, im a waist of time, im a waist of skin and bone.
I give up....today is the day i have given up....I always thought it would be like this, i guess i was correct for once in my stupid fucking life.
I give up.
I give up on life.
I give up on "friends".
I give up on everything.
The voices have won.....
Goodnight
~ Glitch......
